CtrlZ
by Oceanbreeze7
Summary: Yassen Gregorovich died in front of him, smiling and pale and bleeding out and then- Reset. (A 20-minute reset is useful in a life like Alex's. It's a shame he can't control it.)
1. Chapter 1

"Alex…"

Alex didn't have enough strength left to be surprised. He turned his head slowly, the wrecked cabin swishing slightly in a haze of dizziness. He expected to see a gun in the Russian's hand. It didn't seem fair, that after all that chaos and madness he was to die _now,_having survived so long. Yassen had propped himself up against a table, or something that may have been one. He was covered in blood, coated in it so thoroughly Alex couldn't tell where it was coming from. His memory reminded him of the sharp _bang _of Cray's gun firing, and the strange sluggish flinch indicating Yassen _had _been shot. Logic said that it was his chest, there was too much blood to be anything else.

Yassen's skin was pale, paler than usual and his eyes were glassy and washed out. Alex noticed for the first time, that there was a dull angry scar straight across Yassen's throat. It was hard to see under the steadily pooling blood, only the crinkled edges stood out.

"Please…" Yassen's voice was soft.

Alex didn't want to, but he slowly crawled his way through the wreckage of the cabin and over to the man. Upturned seats and crushed metal protruded down around them like morbid stalactites. Alex felt his brain spin, his eyes struggling to focus. He felt like he had a concussion.

"What happened to Cray?" Yassen asked him.

"He went off his trolley," Alex said, noticing the way Yassen's head slumped back exhausted, "he's very dead."

Yassen nodded, pleased. "I knew it was a mistake working for him, I knew." He fought for breath and narrowed his eyes, managing surprisingly well to remain composed. "There is something I want to tell you, Alex."

Alex stared at him, unsure and hesitant. His neck was wet, his arm as well. He hadn't been shot but some sort of flying wreckage had sheared off a good bit of skin and left him bleeding sluggishly.

"Why now?" Alex asked, knowing that, if anything, Yassen Gregorovich had only minutes left to live.

"Why not?" Yassen said, smiling slightly as Alex came closer still to hear his words better. "You won't remember, and I want to know."

"What?"

"I couldn't kill you," Yassen said, "I knew your father. We worked together."

Alex froze, so close he could feel the blood soaking into his pants and see each heaving breath Yassen struggled for. "He worked with you? You mean….he was a spy?"

Yassen looked amused, tired, and low on time. "No, he was a killer. The best in the world. I knew him when I was nineteen."

"What?" Alex said, only able to repeat numbly. "No, no he _couldn't…"_

Yassen sighed, almost sad. "You always believe that, little Alex."

He slumped forward slightly. They were so close that Yassen's forehead bumped against Alex's neck, rolling to his shoulder. It rested there, where Alex could feel the man's wet breath and feel his weakening heartbeat. Blood spilled over blood, and Alex had not the heart to push away a dying man even when he couldn't tell whose blood was whose. It stung, where Yassen's forehead pressed into the weeping gouge in Alex's shoulder, but the proximity alerted Alex to the Russian's breathy whisper of "...maybe next time."

There were sirens outside, and then-

_(Reset.)_

* * *

Alex flinched, knowing that if he had been standing, he would have fallen from the sudden shift in reality.

There was tea in front of him, sitting on a tiny dainty saucer steaming the pleasant smell of Earl Grey. Behind, over the railing of an artful terrace, Alex spotted the high peaks of a replica Eiffel Tower, the tall columns of the Colosseum in Rome. The Taj Mahal hid the sun behind its one hundredth the size of its larger namesake.

"Wha-," Alex said, before he choked off his words and stared at his tea numbly.

"What was that?" Cray asked, "what do you think of it?"

Cray was standing next to him. Alex had _vividly _remembered the engine exploding, the scream of metal as the plane had flipped and turned everything around. Cray had exploded like liquified ground pork, splattering on the side of the plane like cheap spray paint. He was now standing next to Alex, observing a garden Alex had seen hours ago.

"Wonderful, isn't it?" Cray said, looking out fondly. They all looked like an insane miniature golf course, one that Alex thought he could fight his way through if necessary.

Alex looked slowly at his hands. His fingers were clean, unstained. No blood or burning in his arm.

He shakily picked up his tea and took a sip.

"Nothing?" Cray seemed disappointed, almost annoyed that Alex had nothing to say about his garden. "A shame."

A shame like Cray riding his cart going out an inflated slide, then being sucked into a turbine and _exploding._

It got worse, because more joined them.

Alex stared, feeling a little bit like laughing as Sabina ran over to him and threw her arms around his neck.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered, "I should have believed you."

He stared at her, unable to shake the twisting knot in his stomach that told him that this was all very wrong.

He sat, sipping his tea. It burned his throat, burned down into his stomach. He didn't even like the taste of it that much, but he was afraid that the moment he stopped sipping he'd vomit violently on the nice paving.

"Well, here we all are," Cray said happily, just ask Alex knew he would. "One happy family."

_``I don't think you've met-.'_

"I don't think you've met Henryk," Cray said, just as Alex remembered.

Alex gulped his tea.

"Oh, so quiet now," Cray said, mocking and now off script. "You mustn't be a bad loser, Alex. Henryk is very valuable to me, you'll see. He flies jumbo jets."

"So where is he flying you?" Alex said, feeling robotic and a bit sick. Cray smiled to himself, and said- "We'll come to that in a moment. In the meantime, shall I be mother? It's Earl Grey; I hope you don't mind. And do help yourself to a biscuit."

Cray refilled Alex's tea. It was even hotter than before. Alex could feel his tongue blister, trying to chase away the sour taste in the back of his throat.

Alex bravely looked to his side. Past Sabina who was pale and clearly terrified. Yassen Gregorovich- _alive and unblinking, _sat calmly in his chair.

Alex nearly did a double take just to check; Yassen looked more comfortable than what Alex remembered. Or what he dreamed, or hallucinated- was the tea drugged?

"We have an hour before we have to leave, so I thought I might tell you a little about myself. I thought it might pass the time."

Cray talked.

_Exactly as Alex remembered._

The same speech, the same monologue. The same pauses, the smiles, the ugly sneer and face. Alex sipped his tea quietly, feeling faint.

Yassen looked at him, almost concerned. Alex didn't feel like talking.

Sabina was taking it well, sitting rigidly in her chair with her tea ignored. There was absolutely no colour in her face, but that didn't mean much since Alex was sure he was quite white as well. With Yassen's natural complexion, it was a tea party of ghosts.

Or a tea party of dead men, which Cray, Yassen, and Henryk were.

Cray finally stopped talking, and Alex hadn't heard any of it. The man pulled a biscuit, eating it contently as Sabina vibrated in withheld fury. She wouldn't attack him, not with Yassen so close.

"I…" Alex paused, clearing his throat in the small gap provided, "I have a couple of questions."

"Do, please, go ahead."

"My…" Alex trailed off slightly, "my first one is for Yassen Gregorovich."

_'Why are you working for this lunatic?' _Alex thought, and then violently threw that same question aside. "How much is he paying you?"

Yassen stared at Alex, unreadable. He didn't look uncomfortable, but there was something in his eyes that felt much darker than before- than he remembered? Something cold and sharp and predatory that felt...wrong.

Cray scowled, but did nothing. He flapped one hand, signalling for Yassen to answer.

Yassen paused, then he said simply, "not enough."

A squawk, and Cray looked absolutely furious before he spun, turning on Yassen. "_ Excuse me?"_

"You agreed to pay half upfront." Yassen said, eyes unblinking and still on Alex. Cray was not a threat to this man, or he had no cares anymore. Henryk looked very very uncomfortable. "You failed to provide sufficient funds."

"I- I _did! _I paid you precisely the amount arranged…"

"...I do not believe so." Yassen said, finally looking at Cray. The man was flushed in raw fury, anger. Blood churning under his skin and filling his cheeks. "The situation has changed."

Alex felt something whistle in his ears, the faintest bit of memory. When he first met Yassen, he had the same look. The same expression that had shifted his face, the darkness in his eyes.

Then, he had shot Sayle and left him for dead and departed in a helicopter.

"The situation has _not _changed-."

"The objective has changed." Yassen said smoothly and calmly. Acting on orders that were _not there before-._

Sabina screamed, hands flashing to her mouth as Yassen pulled a gun and shot Cray in the face. The back of his head exploded, showering Alex in gore and brain and bits of skull that rained in his hair and into his tea. He stared numbly forward, knowing that he was shaking.

Yassen looked at Henryk; Henryk slumped to the ground in a dead faint.

Things rapidly deteriorated from there. Chaotic in a flurry and contrasting directly with the still bright image of an engine exploding and Yassen blue eyes fading to silver. It seemed unreal, how Alex had felt the man against his shoulder and now he stood clearing out the other hired guards and carefully redirected attention from Cray's corpse.

"Alex…" Sabina whispered, terrified. Alex said nothing, because somewhere along the way she didn't feel any more real to him than Yassen felt redirecting a maid.

Sabina was...she had learned about the fate of her parents, but she hadn't been on the plane with him. They hadn't _been _on a plane. Sabina he knew had screamed and tackled Cray and stopped him from shooting Alex during takeoff. This Sabina had paled and flinched while having tea. An entire arc of epiphany...gone. It felt very fake, very wrong and unsettling to try and comfort her in a garden filled with fake buildings and structures; Alex was surrounded by a mockery.

"I'm leaving." Yassen said, approaching them again. He looked so unassuming without the stiff neck body armor Alex had seen once before. He stared at Alex, sharp and curious but not saying so in words.

Sabina clung to Alex's arm, still terrified. The entire ordeal had been quite a bit for her.

"Your glue," Yassen said, flicking his wrist only so far, just enough to toss to Alex a heavily glued thumbstick. More coated and ruined than he had originally damaged. Yassen had damaged it more, for reasons beyond Alex's understanding.

Alex wanted to argue, to demand answers to questions but he didn't know if his questions were even _real. _If he had been drugged, then it would be nothing more than...his overactive imagination claiming that his _father _had been an _assassin. _Ian was ...already a stretch, twisting his frayed nerves but ...why would he have thought that up on his own?

Everything felt so real, and as Yassen turned to walk away out of sight, Alex wasn't sure that he had woken up at all.

Nothing felt real. Everything felt distant, not entirely there. Something wrong or just flat of what it should actually be. On the plane ride back (already he miraculously 'had' a ticket), he kept doubting that he had even woken up at all.

What had Yassen meant? That his _father _had trained him? That implied that either Yassen Gregorovich had once worked outside of an assassin agency and then was recruited, or in some way Alex's _father_had worked for a terrorist organization. The idea of either option was sickening, so much that Alex had quietly requested a complementary puke-bag on the flight.

Two weeks had gone by and Alex was still waking up in the middle of the night, choking back a scream and scrambling across his face. The sensation of sweat was too similar to blood, his clammy skin looked too much like the pale shade Yassen had before he went limp. Yassen must have been lying, or Alex's brain was finally cracking under all of the stress. Alex wanted to believe it, but he had looked and saw Yassen _dying _and why would a dying man lie?

There were Yassen's words as well, the strange confused phrasing that left Alex scrambling to process. Had he meant that Alex would forget the incident? That Alex would somehow die shortly after? Did he mean that Alex would ignore the conversation and Yassen's words entirely? If that was the case then why would he have bothered to say them to begin with? Why would Alex _hallucinate that? _

Two weeks, and Alex was sitting calmly on a bench observing the Thames, just outside Richmond. Just outside London, with the illusion that he had gone somewhere much further than that. He could see fields and woodlands, distant lush green and he entertained the dazed thought of walking towards the forest and forgetting everything and anything behind him.

The swans were quite beautiful, but they were white and every moment Alex saw one flap their large wings, he kept seeing the ghastly pallor of Yassen's face behind his eyelids.

A shadow fell across the bench. Alex caught the eye of his new company and instantly preferred the swans. The anxiety in his stomach tightened, tugging him even closer to losing his lunch. Mrs. Jones stood next to him, taking a pause before she too glanced at the swans circling in the river.

"Beautiful," she said. "Do you mind if I join you?"

"You already have," Alex said.

She sat down next to him, carefully adjusting her silk trousers on the bench. The swans glanced over before they investigated a small bed of floating algae. Alex heard that swans had very sharp teeth.

"Have you been following me?" Alex asked. "I thought I did everything right."

"You did. Your friend, Starbright, told me you'd be here."

Alex had said he was meeting someone. He didn't like to lie to Jack but he wanted time on his own to think. He didn't want to deal with MI6.

"You should have reported to Liverpool Street-."

"There's no point." Alex said. There wasn't. He did everything perfectly. He threw Cray into a moving airplane, he survived the crash. He watched Yassen Gregorovich die. He watched Cray be shot through the head. Eagle Strike was avoided.

"I know you don't want to talk to me, Alex. Will you please listen?"

Alex watched the swans, and nodded slightly.

"It's true that we didn't believe you when you came to us- and of course we were wrong. We were stupid. It just seemed so incredible that a man like Damian Cray could be a threat to national security. He was rich and he was eccentric; nevertheless, he was only a pop star with attitude. That was what we thought. But if you think we ignored you completely, Alex, you were wrong. Alan and I have different ideas about you. To be honest, if it had been my choice, we would never have gotten you involved."

She kept talking. On and on, about Hyde Park, about Alex's bicycle. She talked about Sabina disappearing at Whitchurch Hospital, and she talked about reports that Cray had been killed.

"What about Air Force One?" Alex said, "wouldn't the CIA…"

Mrs. Jones paused, then looked at Alex with slight anxiety. "Well, the CIA found the jet and-."

"Oh," Alex said. The jet hadn't taken off. Henryk hadn't piloted the jet, which meant that Cray had been found with a bullet through his skull. Not as mincemeat.

"Jack is worried about you, Alex. So am I. It may be that you need help coming to terms with what happened. Maybe some sort of therapy."

"I don't want therapy. I just want to be left alone."

"Alex, you witnessed a man be shot in front of you-."

"I didn't." Alex said, "I pushed him out of the jet, and he fell into the engine. I watched him get tore up and splattered and I watched Yassen Gregorovich _die _and-."

* * *

A shadow fell across the bench. Alex froze, curling his hands into fists across his thigh. The swans circled each other, considering moving to the floating anxiety in his stomach broke, his mouth soured with stomach acid and he forced it down with quick swallows.. Mrs. Jones stood next to him, taking a pause before she too glanced at the swans circling in the river.

"Beautiful," she said again. "Do you mind if I join you?"

"You already have," Alex said _again._

She took it as an invitation, settling herself down again. And they had the same conversation. Again.

He met Sabina after the same words and play. He wished that he could argue more over her leaving, but somehow the tears in her eyes felt wrong and fake and he knew it was no fault of hers. She was upset, traumatized, but she wasn't _his _Sabina. She hadn't been on the plane with him, she hadn't been the one that saved his life. She was just a girl he came to rescue and in the end needed rescuing. He watched her walk out of his life, and wondered if he should be more upset over it happening.

He turned and followed the river, back along the bank into the city. He wanted comfort of something he knew, gentle love and affection wrapped up in fish and chips sold on the corner stores. The sight of Big Ben the appropriate size, not a tiny chess piece in a garden of_wrong._

Yassen Gregorovich was still alive, Mrs. Jones had apologized for sending him and Sabina into that chaos. Sabina was now gone, and Alex was stuck in place with the realization that not once, but now_twice _he had jumped and remembered something that shouldn't happen.

He was exhausted, and he knew it showed. Jack couldn't keep all the worry off her face, even as she teased and poked fun at his scraped knees or the fluffy goose feather stuck to his shoe laces. He was quiet, because he didn't know who to tell or what to say. Was it even _real?_Was any of it real?

He went to bed, curled in blankets that were far too thick for the muggy British heat. It wasn't comfortable, but the weight helped. He thought that Jack read in one of her magazines how the weight was greater for overworked senses. He didn't know if a glitching imagination worked the same. Hours, until the glowing numbers on his clock changed steadily and the vaguest washes of sleep started to pull on his-

* * *

It was just after eleven at night when Alex sprang out of bed and hurried downstairs. He brushed past Jack, going straight to the sink while fishing a glass from the pantry.

"Alex?" Jack said, hurrying to her feet. She stayed up a bit later, reading under the lamp in the front foyer before going up to bed. "Alex? Did you forget something?"

"Couldn't sleep." Alex said, gulping water like he had gone a day without. Jack pressed the back of her hand to his forehead, attempting to feel a fever.

"You didn't try for long," Jack said, "you've only been up for maybe twenty minutes. You're not even warm."

Alex stared forward blankly. He ignored her, and turned on the tap again.

He slept more than he thought he would, enough he felt like a live wire when morning came and birds screamed outside his window. Double the normal time he normally slept for, but was it sleep if it was only a dream? A hazy memory of something that hadn't happened?

Alex wasn't used to this sort of easy relaxation in his body. The dumb that came after sleeping so long when he had gone long without. He felt hazy with it, like it was a long weekend or he had taken a nap outside when Tom dragged him to another one of his practices. He didn't mind it, for once he didn't sleep through a class. Alex was forever behind in all his course work- being yanked away from lessons tended to do that and the principal wasn't very accommodating for child soldiers.

"Aw shite," Tom bemoaned sitting behind him. Alex heard the accompanying thump as his head hit the desk. A surprise quiz wasn't kind on anyone, even Alex knew he was going to fail a surprise test on biology.

"This is going to be rough," Tom grimaced, slouched forward as Alex felt the accompanying dread fill him. "Oh shite, you were out with that pneumonia right? Reckon you can get an extension?"

"No, probably not." Alex said, feeling dread fill his gut as the papers were passed back. "We're in this together."

"Bloody right we are." Tom muttered, cursing quietly as Alex passed back the quiz. Alex stared at the entire test, twelve questions. He didn't know a single one. He didn't bother trying to answer something he didn't know- instead he started to doodle a rough drawing of a squirrel. They would likely pass the tests backwards to grade, maybe Tom would laugh at his drawing. After a small pause, he added sunglasses to the squirrel.

They passed the tests backwards, saw the answers on the board, and graded accordingly. Tom gave him a sympathetic pat as he carefully used a red crayon to mark a bold _0/12 _on the top of the paper. He drew a heart next to the squirrel.

"That was the bloody worst." Tom bemoaned, scoring a few points better than him. "I hate when teachers make the ruddy answers in a pattern. Psychs you out, why would it be like that?"

"To throw idiots like you off your game." Alex teased. "You know, like a jerk."

"Jerks are right! Who even cares about genes and biology and shite. Punnett squares! Bah, I don't care about coloured pea flowers!"

"Never know when it'll be important. You know how quality genes are important in football."

"I don't and after that quiz, I'll never be able to look at genes again!"

"A shame," Alex said, "those jeans really denim in."

Tom looked at him with an expression of amusement and suffering. "Damn mate, glad to have you back. You've been a bit off recently, twitchy for a while. You okay?"

Alex paused, considering.

"No." Alex said. "I'm not okay."

Tom nodded, grabbing his arm and redirecting him out the side doors into the faculty parking lot. Nobody went out this way, not with how muggy the days were and the swarms of loud seagulls.

"Alright, lay it on me." Tom said, climbing up a bench to sit on the backrest like a gangly bird in a school uniform. Alex took the more realistic seat, mindful of the bird poop. "What's got you in a twist?"

"I'm not in a twist-."

"An _emotional _twist. You're like a bloody pretzel, come on. Pneumonia got your tongue?"

Alex smiled, and looked down at the ground. He thought about it, and he thought. He trusted Tom with his life, with _so much, _and there was only so much time and he didn't know what was going on.

"What would you say…" Alex said slowly, "if I said I'm...in a time loop."

Tom blinked, clearly not anticipating that sort of answer. "A time loop? Like that movie ah, woodchuck? No, uh...Groundhog? Groundhog day?"

"Yes," he paused, "no. It's...random. Like a rewind. Randomly...rewinding."

Tom frowned, skeptic. "Right. And that's why you bloody blew that pop quiz. If you aced it, well, _maybe _I would have believed that. Mate, that's...movie script."

"It's true." Alex said quietly, fiddling with his shirt. "I think I'm going crazy."

Tom sighed, flopping down off of the bench back before he was sitting down right next to Alex, ignoring the bird poop entirely. "You're _not _going crazy. Maybe you've still got a fever or…"

"Tom, I can't control it. It just ..."

"Okay, okay so let's say you _can _rewind. When did it first happen?"

"A man died next to me and then I blinked and he was alive again."

Alex pointedly looked down at the ground, refusing to look at Tom's equally horrified and confused face. It was a hard story to swallow, and Alex didn't have any evidence. There was no proof to his story, even when it was real in a strange way. Tom didn't know about MI6, about all of the missions and drama and Alex wasn't ready to unload the bombshell of Yassen Gregorovich on him. Tom already had enough stress, he didn't need to panic and get that fear that Jack felt every time he didn't come home.

"Er…" Tom paused, and clearly had no idea where else to go.

"Tell me something I wouldn't know otherwise." Alex blurted. "In case I rewind. So I can convince you later."

Tom looked a bit uncomfortable. They always said that when people hallucinate, not to entertain the hallucinations. Alex wondered if that was why Tom was struggling so much with what to do.

"Uh…" Tom said, scratching the back of his neck, "when you were gone, I got a 77 on Mrs. Blackey's test? The one on Algebra or something?"

"Okay," Alex agreed, "I can remember-"

* * *

Alex looked at his pencil, half done doodling a squirrel.

He looked at the pop quiz, and answered every question exactly as he knew the answers were. Poor Tom, his grade wouldn't improve.

They passed back the test, and Alex felt numb as he corrected his classmate's quiz that got the same score. The longer they graded the more Alex could feel Tom's sheer confusion in how Alex got every question proper despite being gone and having just mentioned he didn't know.

They left the room, Tom laughing about Alex's sheer insane luck and guessing abilities. He grabbed Tom's forearm, pulling him out into the faculty parking lot.

"Whoa mate!" Tom said, still riding the high of Alex's sudden success. "You alright-."

"No, I'm not." Alex said. "Sit, watch the bird poop."

Tom sat, looking more and more perplexed.

"I'm resetting in time." Alex said quickly, "_ yes, _like Groundhog day. But it's not. That's how I got the quiz perfectly. I'm resetting in time randomly and I can't control it and it's just like a movie script. You told me to tell you that you got a 77 on Mrs. Blackey's test."

Tom's eyes grew, staring at Alex quietly with a bit of wonder. "You're….resetting?"

"_ Yes. _It's- I'm going insane-."

"And you can't _control _it? It just...happens?"

Alex nodded, running his hands through his hair, down his face. Pressing sharp into his eyes to try and stave off the tears he felt prickling.

"Okay, have you _tried _controlling it?" Tom said, voice warbling unsure with just how surreal it all was. "Like...a...superpower?"

Alex looked at Tom, and confessed like the idiot he was, "...no."

They skipped Tom's practice, instead heading out to an old football field that had been under renovation since the goal post had fallen in a storm a year back. The grass was long, the marking paint had long since been washed away but it was a nice flat area to set about and strip off their necessary school uniforms to lay in their blank shirts under the sun.

"Okay so uh, how do we test this?" Tom said, clearly not entirely believing Alex but a good enough friend to indulge in his apparent ridiculousness.

"I don't know?" Alex said, feeling a bit of stress and tension come back. "It just happened when I was sleeping, so I got a _lot _of sleep. And then during the quiz so I knew the answers-."

"You're a bloody cheat." Tom cursed, "okay, fine. Randomly yeah? Well uh, let's play trivia and kick a ball for a bit and maybe it'll happen? Then you answer the trivia?"

"I don't know, maybe? It could be like a muscle that only happens when...I'm stressed? But it happened when I was sleeping…"

"Well!" Tom said, standing and stretching, "_ I'm _going to kick a ball for a bit. I'm skipping practice for you, you prick. Best you can do is help me with aim."

They played, shouting random bits of trivia that they both didn't know or Tom pulled up on his phone. Random things, like the melting point of bronze, or how many quills were on a porcupine.

"Take a seat, mate!" Tom howled, laughing as Alex tripped into a groundhog hole which isn't ironic in the slightest. He flopped on his belly, moaning about the injustice of large rodents as Tom tried to bounce the ball off his head.

"This is fun," Tom teased, "it's been a while since we had a moment."

"I'm remembering why I tried to avoid your blasted practices." Alex moaned into the grass, unable to stop smiling. "Stay there, I'm going to try meditating."

"Get it Rider!" Tom whooped happily, "get that zen! Open your chakra! Do Pilates!"

Alex closed his eyes, flipped Tom off, and breathed.

_'Reset' _he thought, trying to relax his muscles and his mind. _'Reset. Reset-.'_

The sun was nice, the smell of grass was strong and his chin itched a bit from where the weeds had scraped by in his downwards spiral. Tom was shouting victoriously a short ways away, managing to break his record from head spiking the ball up and up.

Alex was relaxed, happy for once. He didn't feel that pressing heavy weight that left him screaming from nightmares. He felt warm and happy and _there-._

_'Okay, I'm ready.' _Alex thought contently. _'Reset.'_

* * *

Alex blinked, stumbling a bit from where he was walking, further down the field.

"-nd a porcupine apparently has-."

"_ Thirty-Thousand!" _Alex shrieked, voice cracking from the suddenness of his voice.

Tom cursed, fumbling and dropping his phone. The ball rolled away, and Tom stared at Alex in absolute mystifying awe.

"No bloody way." Tom said, gaping. "No _bloody way. _You're from the future? You're from the _goddamn future?"_

Alex laughed, bright and delighted and keenly aware of the groundhog hole up ahead. "Mate, you break your headbutt record."

"Yes!" Tom cheered in delight, "how far? Twenty minutes? Ten?"

"Maybe a half hour? It's like going cross eyed, that little buzz in your head."

Tom grinned, looking a bit excited. "This is _so cool. _Can you do it again?"

Alex _could _do it again. He did it, resetting back a short way that slowly became smaller and smaller increments. What had been half an hour reset to twenty minutes. Then ten. By the time Tom was hungry for dinner, it had been nearly four hours for Alex and a fraction of that time for Tom.

"This is so bloody cool." Tom was buzzing with excitement, "it's like your superpower. Mate, you're going to be the god of pop quizzes now."

"I still don't know why this is _happening. _It just... _did. _"

Tom looked a bit focused, kicking the ball ahead of them as they slowly made their way to Alex's house. Jack was in the kitchen, not alarmed that it had been so late in the day when Alex came home. She poked her head out, looking relieved beyond words that Tom was there accompanying him.

"Oh, hello!" Jack chirped, diving back into whatever pasta mess she was attempting. "You dragged him away after school?"

"Not hard to!" Tom shouted back, flopping backwards on the couch and relishing in the cool delight of air conditioning. "Jack! Alex can rewind time!"

"Not subtle," Alex muttered sourly. Pausing and exhaling carefully.

_'Reset.'_

* * *

"Not hard to!" Tom shouted back, flopping backwards on the couch. Alex followed over, slapping one hand over Tom's mouth the moment he started to say a word. Tom rolled his eyes, still looking delighted but a bit peeved. Alex grimaced as Tom went so far as to lick his palm.

"Thanks for it!" Jack shouted back, appearing from the kitchen with freshly washed hands. She came over, dropping in the nearby chair as she watched Tom quickly turn Alex's gag into more of a squabble. They fought over the couch, both yelping as they slipped off the cushions and dropped onto the floor with a hollow thud.

"How was school?" Jack asked, unable to help her smile. Alex hadn't been this active in a while.

"Good," Alex said, "Jack ...I have something to tell you."

Jack looked quickly from Tom to Alex, and back to Tom. Alex could tell the question in her eyes, the one that Alex shook his head slightly to. Tom had no reason to know MI6. As far as Alex could tell, this problem was completely unrelated to that.

"It's weird," Alex warned, "but I can prove it. I can rewind time."

Finally, Tom jerked his mouth away from Alex's hand. Instead of saying anything, he just gave a somber serious nod.

Jack blinked, then anxiously giggled with a clearly uncomfortable smile.

"No, seriously it's bloody cool." Tom said.

"Uh, I'm...Do you mean like..._ time travel?" _

Alex shook his head quickly "it's...like rewinding on the telly. A short bit. I couldn't control it at first and I didn't understand, but I think I've got a handle. I can rewind a bit or longer and remember what happened first time."

"Watch!" Tom beamed, "Jack, what are you making for dinner?"

Jack looked towards the kitchen, then back. "Pasta. Meat sauce with some tomatoes. There's garlic bread in the oven?"

"Okay," Alex said, exhaling and trying to relax carefully.

_'Reset.'_

* * *

"Watch!" Tom beamed, "Jack, what are you-."

Alex interrupted quickly, "pasta with a meat sauce and tomatoes. And you have garlic bread in the oven."

Jack's face blanched, her eyes jumping back and forth from Tom to Alex.

"Told you!" Tom grinned, "Jack, isn't it cool?"

"How did this happen?" Jack asked. Her voice was shaky, unsure and very overwhelmed.

It wasn't normal, and Alex knew that. He didn't know how it happened, and after the first few times he confessed what had happened nobody reacted right. Jones had blanched and seemed perplexed when Alex said Yassen died- but it wasn't relief it was something else. Something like fear, but why would she be afraid? Why would Yassen dying be something MI6 didn't want? When Alex told Tom he saw someone die, he acted horrified. Jack already worried enough. He couldn't let her know what he had seen.

"I don't know." Alex said truthfully.

Dinner was a nice casual affair, Tom stayed for a while and they watched a movie. No resetting happened, nothing was wrong. Alex was happy. It was such a gentle comforting warmth, that Alex could almost imagine that MI6 was a bad dream. That Yassen bleeding and dying and the ghostly shade of his eyes. It was almost enough to keep the nightmares at bay.

Alex went to bed long after, Tom agreeing to spend the night since they had a guest room anyways. Tom didn't go to bed nearly as early as Alex did, instead he sprawled on Alex's bed laughing and joking on his phone as the clock turned to midnight, then longer. Somewhere after, Alex fell asleep and was in the middle of pleasant dreaming-

* * *

Alex jumped so hard, he fell off his bed.

"Bloody hell mate!" Tom yelped, peering over the edge worried. "What? Cold shiver?"

"No." Alex gasped out, heart hammering a mile a minute, "I- I didn't-."

Tom's face quickly softened in realization. He looked uncomfortable at his phone, then at the clock. "It's uh, just past eleven. Did I show you something uh, bad or…"

"No." Alex breathed horrified. Dread and nausea churned in his gut. His hands were shaking. "I- I was asleep...It- It was almost six am."

"Oh, oh shite." Tom echoed.

Alex shakily stood, trying to stop the shaking limbs. He had practiced this, he didn't want to do this. He had spent all day working to make sure this doesn't happen again. Tom didn't understand, he didn't_understand _and Alex was _terrified._

Swallowing down the vomit and guilt, Alex weakly smiled and said, "no I uh, just wanted more sleep. I'm uh...I'm going to crash."

Tom left, and Alex lay awake well into the night until he eventually fell asleep.

He learned, rather quickly, that just because he practiced and could seemingly control minor resets, he still couldn't stop the massive major shifts. The unexpected moments where everything seemed fine and then it was four hours early. The moments where he walked, and blinked, and found himself across town brushing his teeth again.

MI6 was ruthless. Eventually prying the story from him no matter how many times he tried to ignore them. Again and again, and although he carefully twitched and shifted his words and phrasing depending on the facial expression of the poor agent sent to interrogate him.

The story was simple. He arrived _with the stick already ruined _and then haggled for Sabina _who was taken without Alex's knowledge _and he found Yassen _already working behind the scenes _and then Cray died _because Yassen had planned it._

It was a mixture of lies and words and exactly what MI6 wanted. They called it a perfect mission, one that they didn't understand. Alex had inferred, that he had a special talent for fucking things up.

"Maybe we'll use you more if your missions end up like this." Jones said, looking a bit regretful but so very pleased of Alex. Alex wondered if this was what hell felt like.

He was sent out again, much to Tom's confusion. It wasn't pneumonia, instead apparently Alex was on a week long internship somewhere else. A prospective eye had picked him up, which was baffling considering his grades had plummeted except he now got perfect scores on pop quizzes much to the school's confusion.

It was...liberating. A breath of fresh air. The idea and concept of time itself no longer affected Alex. It didn't affect him because _he_controlled time. He controlled interaction, responses, emotions if he wanted. He could say anything he wanted, _do anything he wanted, _and blink and it never happened at all.

He was supposed to follow a lead and he didn't. He went to a store and shoplifted a drink because he was thirsty in the Italian sun and the juice helped. The security guards shouted in Italian, racing after him and he looked up at the clouds and thought, _'Reset.'_

* * *

He followed the lead, still thirsty because drink and sensation didn't transfer properly because that meant physical liquid in his stomach and he learned that didn't work. But the memory was nice, and he found his target and traced along and discovered through only two resets, where the weapon exchange was going down.

He waited casually, because time doesn't matter anymore. He didn't have a good look inside the warehouse where the deal was going down, so he walked casually, took a nice look and ignored the fourteen guns aimed at him and the angry shouting, and thought,_'Reset.'_

* * *

He crouched behind the crates, a safe distance away and thought of how to avoid all fourteen of those guns that had no memory of him ever being there at all.

It reminded Alex of video games, the ones he and Tom used to play where they took turns running into take out enemies. Respawning over and over, because they would always fail but try and try again. His enemies were computer generated grunts, ones that would always spawn in the same location and Alex could try and try again and again.

Time obeyed him, so he waited casually bored and tired and wishing that he had taken a sandwich earlier as well so the memory could tide him over. Something exploded, four buildings erupted in fire and flame. Oh, they were working with bombs.

"I can handle that,"' Alex said, yawning tiredly as fire brushed his skin and the heat burned his eyes. "People don't like it if they blow up too."

He stood, stretching his arms over his head to pop his shoulders and spine and ignore the screaming sirens of fire trucks racing through old Italian streets. Alex popped his jaw, and thought, _'Reset.'_

* * *

"Hands up!" Alex shouted, using the buildings own intercom system to cause the armed guards to jump where they stood. "Mani! Uh, Alto! Wait- _shit-."_

_'Reset.'_

* * *

"Hands up! Mani in Alto!" Alex shouted, using the buildings intercom system to cause the armed guards to jump. This time, it went much better given that he had shouted in butchered Italian.

They started mumbling, stepping back from what Alex knew was a box full of bombs. He had the better hand here, bluffing was what he needed to do, and luckily Alex was a fantastic bluffer.

"Okay, step away from the bombs. Or I'm going to blow this entire sky high and all of you inside as well." Alex warned.

Everyone, naturally, jumped back. Nobody wanted to die, or be exploded. Alex learned that from personal experience. If he hadn't known that the building contained bombs, he would had rushed in with the gadgets Smithers had supplied. Using the elephant strength silly string to clog the guns, to tie people up. He'd likely get shot, or almost shot. He'd likely accidentally activate a bomb, and be forced to huddle inside his (hah hah) fireproof bombers jacket.

Instead, he sat back, shouting out the 7 practiced Italian phrases he had rehearsed a few times and drawn on the back of a McDonald's receipt that warned _Step away! Unload your guns! Eyes forward! This is not a joke! I see what you're doing Angelo _(this one had taken a while since he had to guess names and finally the man was so angry he screamed his actual one).

The cops arrived, took the guns and bombs, and Alex was walking away unharmed for the first time in his life. He was in very dire need of a sandwich.

On the plane back to England, he blinked and stumbled and nearly fell out of his seat when he found the plane going down the runway. A three hour reset. He leaned back, head thumping on the headrest as he mentally cursed out his ridiculous power. Whatever Tom said, it was pure shite.

Mission brief took a few adjustments, phrasing and emotions. At one point the interrogator had jumped, shouting at him due to Alex's seeming calm about handling dangerous explosive material. Alex stared at him, and contemplated the value of punching the man in his face. After all, he wouldn't remember it.

Jones smiled at him, said softly that she was _very proud _of him. Alex reset twice, just to hear it a few more times. It was soft, gentle and kind, and Alex knew that it would only be a short matter of time before he was sent out again and again to get more info or recover objectives because he was a child and he was valuable and now nobody was getting hurt unless Alex thought it was necessary- well. Nobody got hurt and remained hurt. Alex could fix it, Alex could change it.

Alex looked out at the swans, they now had little babies floating around them happily, and wondered if this was what it felt to be God.

The fine resets, the slip of a hand to shift what was and what wasn't. A backspace on a keyboard, a pause to avoid brushing an electric fence as he vaulted over it. A fraction of a second more, a fraction of a second less.

Sneaking past dogs were hard, they were quick and angry and animalistic. A single movement would trigger their heightened senses and instincts but luckily, Alex could practice forever how to avoid them, and how to pass by casually unheard of and out of sight.

He was both more reckless and less. Was it _actually _dangerous if he would never remained injured? If the feeling of sharp teeth sinking into his thigh and shoulder remained only as a ghostly memory? He heard of amputees, the ghost limb where the brain thought something still existed and burned and throbbed in agony when the sensation wasn't received. He walked, untouched and pristine with a clenched jaw and tearful eyes because a dozen dog bites and a ripped throat was deeper than just skin.

Bosnia, beautiful and mixed in both history and ethnicity. Architecture that gorgeous and gleaming in the night. The air was cool and fresh from the Mediterranean, and Alex reclined back against the edge of a high spire with his feet dangling over the edge.

He was given a scouting unit for once, just a few people that had cameras and wires and could help with locating exact places of whoever they were after now. Some sort of esteemed trafficker of intelligence. Finding and dealing in secrets or stolen blueprints or something Alex didn't know much about with his Pre-Algebra background. Maybe if he had taken Art Class, he would have known the term for the fancy blue paper they were looking for.

"Agent, can you come back from there?" The tech guru said, gnawing anxiously on the pen cap as he stared with wide eyes at Alex. The latter was sitting on the edge of the peak, visible from the edge of the balcony where he swung his legs over the edge. They were so high up, mostly to have a better reception of signals.

Alex peered down, feeling incredibly bored, stir crazy, and reckless for a few seconds.

"Hey, guru."' Alex said, turning his head enough to comfortably lounge on the eight inch railing. "How long do you think it would take to hit the bottom?"

The guru paled, looking absolutely horrified. "Ah, p-perhaps...forty seconds?"

Alex peered over the edge, considered it, and started counting. The guru _screamed, _lunging after him and Alex rolled his eyes. He hadn't ever played in zero space before, the weird rush like skydiving but different with nothing but his shirt and pants flapping-

_'Reset.'_

* * *

"Actually It's fifty three seconds." Alex said contently. "Close though."

The guru stared at him, snapped the pen cap in his teeth. Alex huffed, climbing down and into the air conditioned room. It felt much stuffier without the breeze.

"How's the target anyways?"

"Uhh…" The guru said, tapping on the screen. "'Oh, oh _no. _We have new information- can you get Echo?"

Alex groaned, climbing to his feet to walk over to the master bedroom that Echo, the woman spy, had claimed as her own. She said it was necessary for her _disguises, _but Alex thought she was just a jerk.

"Echo," Alex said, pushing the door with one shoulder before slumping in the doorway. "New info."

Echo, the older spy groaned from her spot on the bed. She looked older than she was, clearly matured quickly and passed off for a variety of ages. She was french, and more bratty than the High School girls.

"Don't you know how to _knock!" _She spat, rising from her sprawled spot on the bed before loping out with big bouncing strides. Alex rolled his eyes, and convened around the tech guru to look at the new information.

"A new threat?" Echo asked, huffing almost like the information had offended her. "Like _that's _a problem!"

"How old again are you?" Alex asked, "because I'm really doubting I'm the youngest here."

Echo glared, and guru ran the grainy security footage from headquarters.

And _oh, _that certainly changed things. Alex knew that man, that face, even decorated in a fancy suit and bowtie due to the type of function they were attempting to infiltrate and find out what their target knew. This made everything much harder.

"He doesn't look _that _bad."' Echo sniffed, clearly raking her eyes up and down, "kinda cute."

"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that." Alex said, feeling nausea churn. His stomach twisted, his eyes felt strange. "This is from Jones?"

"Uh, yes. She sent it here with directions for you to see it-."

"Yeah." Alex said, needing to sit down quickly. "That's Yassen Gregorovich."

The room quieted, nice and silent. Alex imagined he could hear the ocean from here even though it wasn't true. Echo in particular looked a bit pale. She had been brought in as a distraction after all, just to entertain and provide a decoy cover for the target, who was a proven womanizer. She wasn't prepared to deal with a _world class assassin._

"Right." She said, sitting down very quickly on the other chair. "I thought this was...just an info recovery mission. I didn't sign up for dealing with _killers."_

"Yeah well, I didn't sign up either." Alex said.

The tech guru, quickly fumbled to chew on another pen. The guy didn't even have to _deal _with threat. He was just supposed to find the locations and coordinate Echo while Alex did the actual hard stuff.

"So...do we pull out?"

"Oh _please." _Echo huffed sourly, "just means I'll have to be _more _of a snack. Ugh, assassins make everything messy."

Alex didn't want to think about Yassen Gregorovich. Yassen Gregorovich who was bleeding out and pale eyes and the warm wet slurp of skin and guts and-.

Yassen Gregorovich who lied over Alex's father, who said wasteful things in a dream and somehow, _somehow, _Alex saved his life.

"Don't bother me," Echo sniffed, pointedly looking at Alex before she stormed off to get dressed in the massive attached bathroom. An hour later where Echo patiently applied makeup and prosthetic to change her appearance to that of a woman a decade older but still attractive. If not for her natural sharp voice, Alex would have mistaken her. He knew, that she too would change that for some sort of accent that Alex didn't know.

They arrived at the gala where the target was at, his work of operations on a higher floor. Alex quickly walked away, ignoring Echo's whispered insults to _not fuck things up! _

He ignored her, went around the corner- walked right into a waiter-

_'Reset'_

* * *

Alex ignored her, went around the corner. He stepped to the side and snatched a small drink from a waiter's tray before he kept going. With any luck, the kitchen staff would mistake his a dishwasher returning in a very inefficient way.

The elevator needed a password, but there were only four buttons which left an annoying amount of combinations. The tech guru assigned to Alex wasn't actually helpful, because namely- MI6 were jerks, so Alex fished around and just dealt with squinting at the buttons and guessing that the second one must be used first due to the stains.

So, process of elimination. Guessing was always good, and his namely luck meant he only had to reset _twice _before he got the elevator to go up to the top floors where he would likely have to find a stairwell. Even information stealing womanizers needed to abide by building codes.

The stairwell was nice, and Alex began his long slow climb upwards hoping somewhere, Echo got a plate of shrimp cocktail down her sleazy dress.

The stairwell went up higher and higher, and Alex had to hope that they really did have the security cameras under control. Otherwise this would be over very quickly and Alex didn't want to deal with that.

The main door was, once again, locked. Smithers had given him a small bug- one that looked like a cute little stuffed animal beetle, that instantly adhered and started scrambling the lock. Somehow, the fabric messed with the hand sensor although Alex really didn't know how. The little beetle gave a cute ringtone, the light flashed green, and Alex plucked it from the scanner and snuck inside.

He found the information, reading it over quickly. It was color coordinated and in alphabetical order which was hubris but also commendable. The category on stolen technology from England was impressive. Poor Apple though, they were going to have a rough few years.

Alex considered taking everything, but he didn't really have the time or space. He did settle for picking up the bronze bust of their target to bash open the desktop casing and plucking out the hard-drive. Thank goodness computer hard-drives had gotten smaller over the years, it only looked moderately obscene when he tucked it into his pants and fumbled to set something on fire. Hopefully, all of the plans would be destroyed, that ghastly bronze bust would hopefully melt, and Alex would get to see Echo furious from the sprinklers.

Of course, that didn't happen. Because the scanner outside the door started beeping, alerting to an override code that Alex was _not _ready for. He bolted, sprinting and barely managing to slide behind one of the long decorative velvet curtains that the idiot thief had in his office. It looked like a New Vegas strip club honestly.

The door opened, Alex stopped breathing as he heard the barely there footsteps approach the desk with the busted computer case. The slight shifting of plastic and metal as whoever it was noticed that the hard-drive had been removed. The rest of the plans were still there. A normal agent wouldn't leave the room without getting rid of the plans, not when the hard-drive being stolen was so obvious.

The intruder knew that as well, which meant the likely outcome meant that the new thief was still in the room.

"Come out." A familiar voice, and Alex wanted to _cry. _"Come out, little Alex."

_No no no no, _Alex was _not _ready for this. He needed to- he couldn't…

"I know you're here." Yassen Gregorovich said very calmly, not moving from where he stood near the desk. Alex had no belief that the man was bluffing either. "You can step aside willingly, or I will make you."

Alex remembered, the amused near adoring smile, the blood and wreck of the plane. Mincemeat and crying and Yassen's scar throat and head thumping against his shoulder. No, Alex couldn't, he couldn't face this-

_'Reset.' _

* * *

Alex didn't put down the bust, instead he turned, smashing the casing off of the power outlet that had been plugged into the computer. He yanked out the power cord, breaking his nails as he peeled the edges of wires back and jammed it into the open outlet. Sparks flew, one blueprint caught fire easily and spread rapidly over the shag carpet and velvet drapes.

Alex wasted no time, shoving the hard-drive in his pants, threw the bust at a window, and leapt as fast as he could over the edge. He could take as many tries as he needed to somehow survive the fall.

It took twice until he slammed into a couple railings, slowing his fall but sending him into a dangerous spiral that managed to get him to smash into a gargoyle and feel something crunch in his chest. Broken bone likely, but he didn't want to try and reset the landing with that sort of pain inhibiting him.

He limped inside the building, kicking in a window and trying to stifle his whimpers. The smoke alarms were screaming, the sprinklers activated building wide. The stairwells were active and with only a minor choked sob at being jostled, Alex managed to escape in the throes of panicking people.

Echo found him, her makeup running and fiercely angry but seeming to recognize that Alex was injured in some way. She pulled her clutch, yanking out a handkerchief to dab at her running mascara as the fire department rolled up.

"Hottie alert," Echo muttered, wrapping a large towel complimentary of the fire department around her body.

"I'm going under cover." Alex blurted, dropping to his knees to scrunch into a small ball and hide under her towel- and under her dress. Echo stiffened, obviously furious with his attempt to get out of sight of Yassen Gregorovich. Alex was small and gangly, even with a few broken bones he wasn't going to let a wet cat stop him from hiding.

* * *

The gargoyle smashed into Alex's collarbone and this time, he couldn't stop the abrupt broken howl of pain. He landed, rolling onto the small landing with contorted limbs and frantic breathing.

No, _no. _He didn't demand the reset, he didn't make it happen. Why now, why _now? _He just...he just had to follow exactly what he had done, and hopefully not run into Yassen Gregorovich in his crippled exhausted state.

The window broke a second time, this time more clumsy under Alex's fiercely throbbing chest. The fire escape was crowded, he blended with people and stumbled only twice on the steps. He found Echo, already fishing for a handkerchief with how long Alex took on the stairs this time.

He didn't say anything, instead diving right under her dress with the towel before she could say a word. He felt her legs tense the moment she spotted Yassen, the tiny shifting on her tall heels that signified she was ready to run if necessary.

No more shifting occurred. It was an inconvenient major shift, one of the uncontrollable ones that Alex was terrified of. He waited, hearing people bustle around and Echo adopted a fake foreign accent and broken structured English. It was a good act, she could have been a successful actor if she wasn't working for the government.

Eventually, she squeezed her legs and Alex's shoulders and brought a new spike of pain. He crawled out from under her dress, noticing that the fire trucks had managed a nice wall that gave them privacy.

Echo glared at him, but said nothing. She stomped away angrily, fishing for car keys as Alex limped after, left arm clutching his chest.

"You could have _warned me!" _She hissed, smacking his head with her clutch.

_I did, _Alex almost said. He forgot he hadn't the second time around.

They made it back to the hotel room, where the tech guru squealed over the find and looked at Alex in awe and sympathy over the massive bruise swelling over his chest. Echo went so far as to let him have her massive bed when she caught sight of the deep purple bruising spanning from various points of impact from his tumble out the window.

"What did you _do?" _Echo asked, scowling and tossing over some of her cream. This one apparently helped by numbing, although it was normally used for wrinkles or something else. There was a point on the outside of his thigh, his knee, his forearm and his clearly busted collarbone. It was a large knob, a walnut out of place that distorted his skin.

"Jumped out the window." Alex groaned into a pillow. Everything hurt. "I was under a killer threat."

"I don't know if that was a pun or you're being dramatic." Echo said.

"There was _bloody Yassen Gregorovich! _I thought you were going to distract him!"

Echo looked offended, towel drying her hair. It was a good shade of blonde, professionally dyed or natural. She rolled her eyes, huffing. "I_did. _He said his wife was calling, you didn't tell me he was Norwegian! Super nice too, kinda hunky you know?"

Alex _screamed _into his pillow.

"Did you _really _need to shove the computer in your pants though?" Echo continued, "it looked horrible."

"Oh, sorry, where else do you put your _precious cargo?"_

Echo sniffed angrily.

"I know, I was _packing," _Alex continued, because if he was in pain so did she. "Such a _prickly _decision."

"Guys?" the tech man said, looking very uncomfortable, "uh, we should move to the rendezvous…"

"No." Alex said, "I am taking a nap, because _I _am the one with _broken bones."_

The tech guy scuttled out, Echo complained, and Alex slept blissfully unaware although that may have been due to the painkillers and cold medicine. They boarded the train the next day, meeting up somewhere in Croatia for the plane that would take them to England and avoid the formal international incident. Alex did his job well, so he slept and had access to better painkillers via IV once the medics confirmed that yes! He _broke _his collarbone. Also hairline fractured his leg from smashing into a railing.

The interrogation went a little bit better, although Jones was very upset that he had injured himself so. Another _perfect mission,_avoiding Yassen Gregorovich was just another benefit.

Alex went home, months of bedrest to heal his bones, and sleep off the exhaustion. Apparently Jones felt so bad for his injures, various bags of fresh produce ended up on the front porch. Even the school felt had for his 'Internship Injury' that had occurred when 'unsecured machinery' moved. Codename for doing a leap of faith off a skyscraper to avoid confronting a scary Russian. A standard plot point in almost any action movie.

He had a sling to help secure his arm, and a nice cart to drag his books around. Tom, the jerk, went so far as to put his things in the same basket and even sliding in a pillow for when 'Alex's arm hurts!'. The liar just slept through History.

There were more gaps, more leaps in time that correlated around the entire school day. If Alex hadn't been inspired to actually pay attention, it was much worse the second time through. Nights _and_days were reset. Soon, Alex was more exhausted simply for being awake for so long and demanded naps as soon as he got home.

He managed to get through so many television shows and series, Jack refused to watch anything with him. IT wasn't fair, she claimed, when he sat down, watched five minutes of some documentary then changed to another because he had _already finished the movie._

"I need to take up a hobby." Alex demanded out of the blue when watching another mindless episode of something. "Jack, help me find a hobby."

"What sort of hobby?" Jack asked, barely pausing and taking it all in stride.

Alex stared upwards, frowning. "What do old retired people do when they're bored?"

"Join a book club," Jack suggested.

Alex joined a book club, because sure sometimes there was an inconvenient reset, but he only had to find his page again and keep reading. Videogames lost their love and challenge, because losing progress was just as bad as losing a memory card. There was no more joy in it. Tom called him a grouch, a loser because now there was 'Bad Boy Alex Rider' with his head deep in some sort of thick book.

"You know, you're going to ruin your reputation." Tom teased him, "reading all those books but still failing finals."

"You don't know the fury, of finishing an essay only to reset." Alex told him flatly, barely looking up from where he was deep into some sort of fantasy book Tom recognized faintly. "Reading is easier."

"What _is _that?" Tom asked, finally peering over at the old English. "The bloody hell? Elves? Is this that Lord of the Rings thing?"

Alex made a noise of agreement, comfortable as he reclined back. "I'm confusing the librarians since I return them so fast. Maybe I should learn elvish."

"Maybe you should learn a _real _language." Tom teased him pointedly. "Ladies love a man who speaks with an accent."

"Tom," Alex said, "you are a genius."

Alex _did _learn a language. The school library had various old editions of older school textbooks. Alex already knew quite a few languages courtesy of Ian and their many television channels. Passing Japanese, better than passing now Italian, and his fluency in Spanish, and French. German could use some work.

Now though, he had nothing but time. How different was Catalonian from Spanish? How different was Portuguese? His Italian had improved, but there were Italian books from old abandoned school coursework.

Catalonian was similar, Portuguese even more so. From there, Italian followed the same similar structure. By the time he could claim fluency in Italian with a lack of basic noun definitions, he could likely survive on his own in Barcelona without getting lost.

The resets started to slow, more distanced and longer in between. Alex's collarbone finally healed over, the bruise fading from sight just as Alex challenged himself with trying to listen to anime without subtitles. He had long since given up attempting to learn Kanji of any sort, but conversational Japanese he could likely work on especially with so many multiple meanings. That, and practically all Japanese names were puns in some sort and Alex could _not _go without that new weapon in his arsenal.

Anime, he quickly learned were very short easy episodes with a nice wide variety of words and conversational structures. If the reset happened- that's fine. Hop forward a good half dozen episodes and keep going. He still couldn't comprehend any sort of the written word but he was nearly to the point where he could mimic entire conversations as the show ran next to him. Tom found this unsettling, which was completely fair. Tom ended up tackling him only when Alex succumbed to mimicking the poor female love interest and gushed about _senpai!_

"Tom, spin the globe and pick somewhere." Alex said.

Tom pointed and landed on Saudi Arabia. Alex stared, Tom stared. Alex hunkered his shoulders with a wince and said, "Well, how hard can Arabic _really _be?"

* * *

"Alex, what's with the globe?"

_'Oh thank god.' _Alex thought. "Nothing, I'm just thinking. I think i'm going to learn Russian."

Alex did, because he thought _why not, _and it seemed that the majority of maniacs he had to chase down knew Russian in some way or form. MI6 had mentioned concerns occurring over in the Kremlin, and Alex playfully denied anything and claimed he had the flu and couldn't come to the door. For emphasis, he flipped off every security camera he could find.

The school therapist hunted him down, because apparently outside of Tom he had been acting oddly for quite a while. Seemingly not comprehending things, awkward conversations. Ignoring or saying one word only to walk away instantly after. He wouldn't answer questions, or when he did he cut people off in conversation and said nothing after. He didn't act in a way that 'accommodated other people' or 'thought about his actions would hurt other people.'

The school sent a memo to his home address, Jack telling him that the school wanted to _drug test him _to see if he was under some sort of substance. He was offended, but he couldn't really deny that other people didn't hold his interest anymore. People that didn't _know_didn't matter anymore. If a group member got in a fight- _rewind, _and then say something else. Always say the right thing, always find what you need to know and that's that. Other people weren't a factor anymore, because they were all dependent variables and Alex alone changed how they reacted.

"Are you taking drugs?" Jack demanded.

"No, this amount of emotional suffering is organic." Alex said, and that was that.

His Russian was coming along nicely, especially the hilarious way in which diminutives were used. Would he be abusing this? Absolutely. Was he going to antagonize Tom with calling him _Tomasha, _especially since Tom claimed it sounded like a reject hybrid fruit.

His next mission wasn't even _hard. _Well, it was hard because SCORPIA was involved, but his main enemy wasn't hard. He was tall, had vitiligo which Alex thought would impede an assassin's ability to hide but this guy seemed to be doing just fine, and had _swords._

"Oh, that's cool." Alex confessed, staring at the fairly short swords or_very _long knives. "I recognize that saying how badass those are is beside the _point _but hey I like being a bit _sharp."_

The man squinted at him, giving him a once over before his expression lit up. "Wait, young, MI6, does puns- are you _the _Alex Rider? No way!"

Alex shouldn't have lit up. "You know me?"

"'You're legendary! Of course I know you, you're one of my role models you know. Heard about your work, very innovative."

"Thank...you?"

The SCORPIA agent grinned, big and toothy and terrifying with the swords. He couldn't have been _that _much older. "No, really. I heard you yeet'd yourself out a window to get away from Tall'n'Grumpy."

Alex blinked, feeling very overwhelmed and a bit shy under all the attention.

"Some of your mission reports- I mean the mission reports _we _have after _you're _on them, make my days better. I think you're the reason for premature baldness in quite a few people. We have a code for you! A stamp and everything."

"A...a _stamp?"'_

The man nodded quickly. Despite his obvious cheer and enthusiasm, not once did his hands waver. "I think they made it after you set that one boat on fire, while you were _on _the boat. Classic Rider situation."

Alex snorted. "Yeah, before that weird Russian billionaire tried to adopt me as his kid?"

"Ahh, Russians. Gotta love the prickly bunch."

Alex beamed, "I'm learning Russian just to piss them off more."

"You! I _knew _I'd like you! My name's Nile. Bah, you know the drill."

Alex nodded along eagerly. "The whole spiel about how you can't let me past to ruin your plans? Or something about your employer?"

Nile grinned, twirling one knife expertly so before resting in perfect posture again. "You're such a bright kid, man, I see why they banned Cossack from being on missions we know you're on. For some reason, _ every _time you show up, our missions fail and we don't get paid. Let me get paid, Rider. I've got to support my family of two plants."

"You make a compelling argument," Alex said, "but I don't get paid anything, so I'm living on pure spite and the power of having no impulse control."

Nile nodded slowly in agreement. "Ah, classic Rider Situation."

Alex _did _ruin Nile's day, because he _did _manage to steal the new serum for carrying the black plague in rats (honestly, _really?),_by...releasing...the immune rats into the wild. Off they went, beautiful and free into the great beyond to breed a whole new generation of rats that don't carry disease.

"I think you made the world a better place!" Alex shouted down as the building started to self destruct (_ Classic Rider! _).

"Fuck you!" Nile shouted up, using his sword shoved in his fist to mimic a large shiny middle finger. "Maybe I should go full Cossack and just murder the damn employer!"

"Love you too Nileshunya!" Alex shouted, blowing a kiss and a wink. Nile laughed, despite the fact that the building was literally starting to fall apart and _the rats _were _loose! _Plus the black death had long since been _cured _but Alex didn't want to point that out unless he had to.

MI6 didn't like his mission report, because they were boring and normal and the same. Every time, they were the _same. _Same people, same places, the same forms and questions and even if Alex said something wrong he could reset and fix it. Sometimes he caved and told them the truth instead of what they wanted to hear, just to see their faces. He always reset, because playing by what was mission perfect was always easier then being himself. Alex was _tired _of this.

"'Alex, are you _paying attention!" _Jones shouted, like she had before, and before, and before.

"No," Alex said honestly, "because I've heard this before. You're going to scold me for not giving this proper focus, for seeming to not care about something that's important. If you'll look, Ii'll have already _done _the paperwork, even using your acronyms you like to use to pretend that other people can't decode it."

Jones stared at him, then opened the file that Alex had done on the plane over, because he was tired of doing it in MI6 when he could have been sleeping at home. The report was perfect, proper codenames, proper acronyms, proper everything. If he wrote a mistake, rewind and rewrite it. Perfect handwriting.

"This is done in pen." Jones said flatly, "this was a first draft."

It was perfect, Alex knew that. Jones closed the folder quietly, and waved him on. Alex got up, and he left.

"Ma'am." said the small desk jockey. He looked at her, nodding in the clinical case psychologist and profiler who had watched from behind the glass. This meeting, and countless before as well as other testimony.

"What do you think?" Jones asked.

"It's quite something," the psychologist confessed, waving and smiling. A small kettle of tea and two cups were brought in. "If I hadn't seen this development myself over time, I wouldn't have believed it. Alex Rider's personality has completely changed."

Jones closed her eyes, sighed, and poured herself some tea. She took a sip tiredly, already knowing a report was written but she was too tired to read it.

"He has quite the tendency to intimidate people with his presence," the psychologist continued quietly, "he's calm, and increasingly difficult to read. I can't tell if it's self control or a dissociative state. He's...he cannot be intimidated or impressed by anyone else anymore. His emotional state is...is _impossible _to discern. The cameras and bugs suggest that he still holds affection for his caretaker, but even then there are periodic episodes of this behaviour."

"So it isn't a front." Jones summarized. "It's legitimate. Not just for us."

"No, not just for us. His entire personality has shifted after some sort of event we don't know. He's...extremely resourceful, highly intelligent and seems to be advancing at an exponential speed. You were right to remove his clearance to firearms, I truthfully believe that assassinations or murder would only accelerate this strange development."

Jones rubbed her eyes, not sure what to do. Sometimes she was thankful Blunt hadn't retired- if the plane on Air Force One _had_managed to lift off, then perhaps he would have had to retire. But now, she was still second in command and could allow moments of weakness. "What is his education rate?"

"Ah, the school reports show his disinterest. Apathy, reduced social interaction. Overall, cold and disconnected from others with exception to his friend. His scores are...they do not reflect the level of academic curiosity he displays at home."

"How many languages does he know now?"

The psychologist looked at her cup of tea, clearly uncomfortable with where the questions were going. They both knew that the conversation was not good.

"...His original file stated fluency in three and basic in two, this was due to his...Uncle, I believe?"

"Ian Rider, deceased."

"Yes Ma'am. Alex Rider has recently displayed fluency levels in his original three languages, English, French, and Spanish. He has recently developed fluency in...Italian, Catalonian, Portuguese, several dialects of South Amercan Spanish, advanced comprehension of Japanese standard, and Russian"

Jones inhaled, and exhaled smoothly. "You're saying that in perhaps several months, Alex Rider has become fluent in _four _new languages and is nearly fluent in _two more?"_

"He's a very intelligent boy, ma'am. He likes to read."

Jones nodded and dismissed the psychologist. Alex Rider's file, was beginning to look more and more like a certain very concerning profile. One, that although they had never interacted for _long, _posed certain problems.

Why was Alex Rider going to such lengths all of the sudden? He had severe injuries from trying to _avoid _Gregorovich, why would he be attempting to mimic him now?

Jones was _sure _that Gregorovich never had the opportunity to talk to Alex about his family history. There was no time or possibility for that, even now that they tended to send Rider off with bugs on him. Even when Rider was on mission, he acted cold and disinterested and unsettling. Jones was one mission away from forcing Rider to take an entire examination for possible mental health disorders, or even a personality disorder suddenly presenting itself. She was certain he had PTSD after the incident both with Sayle, and now Cray.

What was it with Yassen Gregorovich that had transferred to Alex? What sort of chaotic water did they both drink and now suddenly were turning into apathetic machines with a very cruel sense of humor. Jones would have almost sighed in relief just to hear him joke around, but now it was just a bunch of odd staggering, blank faces, and an intimidating ability to know exactly when to do things and _how. _The boy rarely made mistakes anymore, his first try was always the best try. Beginners luck turned _weaponized._

It felt almost like looking at John again, the way he was fiercely determined and terrifyingly capable. Jones hoped that they knew what they were doing.

Alex's next mission was a test, because they wanted a comparison. A shock factor, and within one simple psychological test in the field, they made their fatal mistake.

Rider had been doing a bit worse, a bit more ruthless and callous over things he saw. Storming past ruins and corpses without blinking, as if he knew they were there and didn't care. He needed no time to accommodate, because they meant nothing to him. So they sent him somewhere horrible, somewhere with the assumption that war and death would zap _something into him._

They calculated wrong, because the Middle East had always been SCORPIA's preferred dealing area with the Taliban and various terrorist organizations. They hadn't expected Yassen Gregorovich to be there for- for some sort of _field training, _but only learned the moment that satellite images confirmed what appeared to be SCORPIA agents Nile, and Cossack in a Taliban area testing out missile launchers on rock formations.

Alex couldn't be called back, because Alex Rider _didn't do commands. _

The day that Alex Rider literally _stumbled _into the middle of a Taliban camp on the back of a dusty motorcycle carrying three days worth of gasoline on the back, and a big tank of water- well, he wasn't really expecting that sort of reception. There was a lot of confusion, a lot of looking at each other, and a lot of Alex internally cursing that he never did take up Arabic.

They stared at one another, until very slowly one agent came closer and Alex could see a dirty stick hanging from his belt.

_"Nile?" _

The headwrap came off, showing a familiar toothy grin. "No way! Rider! What brings you out here!"

Alex stared numbly, because at this point it was simply a cosmic entity that was forcing him and SCORPIA's greatest idiot to unite. "I think MI6 is trying to traumatize me."

"Really? That's a new tactic. They didn't try waterboarding?"

"_ Nile."' _Alex said. He smiled, amused and a bit happy to see the manic despite the fact there were several guns pointing directly at Alex. "Seriously, can you point me in the direction of civilization? Or a camel? Or _something?"_

"Oh _hell no, _we haven't had a Rider Situation in forever! Come on, my life was getting boring."

Alex rolled his eyes, dismounted from his bike slowly and lifted his arms in the air. The Taliban clearly, did not know at all what to do. Nile walked forward, clean lithe grace that the sand couldn't stop, and managed to punch Alex across the head.

"Ouch! What the hell!" Alex spat, ducking back and wincing. His eyes were watering from how much it hurt.

"Standard treatment, you're only special in my heart, not in the real world."

"Wow, to think your compassion is _imaginary."_

Nile snorted and shouted something in Arabic, from around the corner a man with rope appeared. Alex already was bemoaning his poor wrists.

"Can we not do this?" Alex asked quietly, "I'm really tired, and I don't even have a weapon on me, unless you consider I really have to pee a weapon. Well, with how dehydrated I am it probably is a chemical weapon."

"Sorry Rider!" Nile cheered, and punched him again this time in the mouth.

Alex _slumped, _entire face spinning as his vision swam. Blood filled his mouth and tooth clearly came loose in a glob of mucus and saliva. His fucking _canine tooth broke._

"Oh fuck no." Alex gurgled with a slur.

_'Reset.'_

* * *

"'Sorry Rider!" Nile cheered, and Alex arched his back.

The fist missed, which was fairly surprising to poor Nile who continued to punch forward and accidentally punched the motorcycle. It toppled slowly, landing chaotically on Nile's boot which was too armored to actually injure him. Nile pouted, looking sadly at his foot while the Taliban proceeded to tie Alex's arm behind his back. Alex's tooth, thankfully, was safe.

Someone new spoke, a harsh guttural Arabic from behind a headdress. Everyone stepped back, even _Nile _paused and looked over his shoulder. They said something, back and forth. The sand was getting in Alex's eyes now that he had removed his scarf.

Nile paused and looked at Alex, then looked back. He looked torn, but slowly stepped away. The new one stepped forward, a careful grace held in their movements. Smaller body, less defined muscles and trapezoids compared to Nile. Actually, they made Nile's walk look like an awkward newborn deer compared to the liquid leopard stalk.

"Oh shit," Alex said around a chalky mouth still tasting phantom blood, "don't kill me?"

The man approached, stood tall and looked down to where Alex was on his knees with his arms tied behind his back. One hand grabbed Alex's jaw forcefully, his glove smelled like gunpowder. He tilted Alex's head slightly, then pulled back a fist slightly and smashed it into Alex's head.

Alex slumped to the ground, not unconscious but curling fetal as he tried to comfort the _agony _of his face. Something had ground and crunched, broken and shattered in a well placed pointed punch. His left eye was burning painful, his whole face _hurt _and his couldn't see from his left eye.

Nile shouted something in alarm, looking clearly taken aback. Alex whimpered into the dirt, wiggling pathetically. He had a horrible gut churning idea, that his cheekbone had been punched at such an angle, the bone chips entered and pierced his eye. In simple terms, Alex was_blind._

No, no no , he was _not _going to settle. He would easily barter, try to argue or figure something- he could always push himself further back and try to get to a time where he was actually _on _the bike. What he wouldn't do for an untimed big jump right around now.

_'Reset.'_

* * *

Nile looked down at his foot with a sad look. Alex's tooth was safe, he was still able to see and his arms were just _now _being tied behind his back.

The man behind Nile, the one wrapped in scarves still who had broken his _face, _staggered. It was such an unexpected movement, Nile even glanced over in alarm before he scanned the surrounding areas quickly.

_"No." _The man said, muffled behind his scarves. He instantly started yanking, dropping the dusty fabric to the ground as he _stared _at Alex in absolute horror.

"What?" Nile said, looking back from Alex to- to _Yassen Gregorovich._"What? It's just-."

_"Alex Rider." _Yassen said, voice coming out tinted with something Alex had never heard and found himself terrified to be the cause of it. What did he do? He hadn't done _anything. _This wasn't going according to how it should, the man- _Yassen _should be trying to break his face again.

"Uh, yep." Nile said, still a bit lost. "Is this bad?"

Yassen kept staring, approaching slowly and, dare Alex think it, _shyly._He reached out, much more gentle as he gripped Alex's chin and tilted his face away. Right so Yassen could stare where he had broken Alex's face, but hadn't.

"Men! Clear out!" Nile shouted, shifting to Arabic again once Yassen made no movements to punch. The Taliban grumbled but slowly started to filter, leaving Yassen, Nile, and Alex.

"Cossack, what is it?" Nile urged quietly, staring at Alex with something sharper and darker. "I already found the bug on him. MI6 isn't good at disguises."

"Alex Rider." Yassen repeated, sounding almost as if he was in awe. "_ You _are the reason."

"'I swear I didn't do anything this time." Alex defended himself, feeling very terrified. "I didn't do _anything, _I _promise."_

"Oh you brilliant child, you've done _everything." _Yassen murmured instead, glancing around Alex over and over. "You've changed_everything."_

Nile looked at Alex, making eye contact so they could both exchange a frantic _what the fuck? _Expression. Yassen stood quickly, smoothly like liquid metal. He hauled Alex to his feet, one arm around Alex's waist before he looped him up and over his shoulder in a hostage fireman carry.

"Uh." Nile said, and then went silent.

"You are coming with us." Yassen said smoothly. "Do not reset. I will always find you."

Alex _froze. _"You know? You know what's happening to me?"

Yassen started walking smoothly, towards somewhere where helicopters were covered with tarps. "Yes. You've been annoying, little Alex. All those sudden resets."

"Oh, fuck off _Yassen." _ Alex snarked, trying to wiggle aggressively to show how furious he was at being carried. "You broke my _face!"_

"He did _what _now?" Nile gawked, clearly confused.

"I had to make sure." Yassen said.

"Yeah, well…" Alex wiggled more angrily, "stop! Put me down! Yassen! Uh, Yas- Yasska! No, Yasik- Ya...Yashka!" Alex landed on what would be interpreted as an offensive cutesy name. "Put me down _Yashka!"_

Yassen twitched, a sudden jolt of surprise before he gave a single bark of a laugh. Nile startled as well. Yassen laughing was like seeing a unicorn. Alex's plan to be annoying had clearly backfired.

"You reset, due to me I believe." Yassen said, setting Alex down so he and Nile could take the tarps off one helicopter and start its engine. "I have noticed incidents since Cray. You came into this power then?"

"Power? _Power?" _Nile said, sounding a bit like he was laughing. "Oh god, what sort of Rider Situation _is this?"_

"A kidnapping." Yassen said. "Perhaps fate, perhaps not. Rider, you have been cursed as well, and I refuse to let you go now that I have seen the cause of my perceived loss of control."

They started the helicopter, threw Alex in the passenger seat while Nile took the back. Better to make sure Alex didn't make a jump for it or try to escape. Even with his arms restrained, Yassen took careful time to strap Alex in, buckling him and providing a headset for communication as the helicopter lifted off.

They flew for three hours in complete silence before Alex whispered very quietly and very terrified, "I don't know why you're doing this."

Yassen paused, and turned in his seat. He let go of the controls, regardless of Nile's complaints, and turned to face Alex. Alex stared, still restrained and shaking and held hostage against his will-.

"I am doing this," Yassen said.

* * *

"-because you are like me."

"Huh?" Nile asked, peering around from the backseat curiously. It was quiet, there were no headsets, or any background sound. Alex paled. He froze and gasped and stared out the window.

The helicopter had not taken off yet.


	2. Chapter 2

Nile had seen many things, and admittedly he had done many things as well. Horrible _horrible _things, the type that self explained why he had 'kill on sight' orders in fourteen countries.

Nile liked to pretend, or believe that somewhere in the corrupt monstrosity of a human soul, he still had redeeming qualities. Not enough to make babies stop crying, but enough perhaps to grant him minor peace when he felt he needed it.

Yassen Gregorovich was and is, an enigma. An absolute powerhouse with a presence more overwhelming than a hurricane. A monster, a lithe chaotic entity carved from marble and quenched in puppy tears. Or something else dramatically horrible. He had more layers than a one-hundred-and-four layer Damascus blade, and Nile _knew blades._

Under all of that, and it had taken _years _to learn- Yassen Gregorovich was the most socially awkward individual Nile had ever met.

The assassin industry didn't lend much in the way of social interaction. They were forbidden from having pets, even _goldfish, _so Nile circumvented that problem by obtaining plants. Yassen it seemed, didn't comprehend the memo and accidentally crossed 'humans' on his list next to 'parrots' and 'centipedes' for _Do-Not-Interact_.

The man wasn't _tall, _but he towered over everyone. He stared far longer than necessary, not making eye contact but instead staring through people. Yassen's body was always relaxed, refusing to tense or clench even under gunfire. He was a dancer, practically twirling over corpses and raining bullets and hellfire.

_Except, _an unsure Yassen equated a terrifying Yassen. He would stare with the same long unblinking expression at a complex math problem, then turn and stare the exact same at a baby goat. He would pause, start moving towards something only to gracefully come to a halt, and pivot away as if his resolve had completely changed or you weren't worth his time.

It was incredibly infuriating, because Yassen Gregorovich ghosted around on a flying carpet of superiority. Dismissive, uncaring, it was near impossible to evoke any sort of reaction from him. He had a sixth sense for awkward social situations, tending to somehow vanish far before the situation came to light. Nile had his fair numbers of having to settle drunken clients, or far too determined prostitutes. Yassen,_frustratingly, _had none.

It wasn't fair, because even when Nile _thought _about doing something drastic and started planning his approach, Yassen would find him with those seeing eyes and then calmly leave. Remove his presence entirely. The only way to trick Yassen was to completely embrace the fact that Nile never would act out, even though he wanted to with every fiber of his being. Nile became the exact definition of 'easy going', not _once _approaching or letting himself sling an arm over the Russian's back, or wiggle into his personal space.

Yassen was a cat, a feral barn cat that hated humans but _god dammit Nile was determined to gain his love._

Slowly, over the course of _years, _Yassen began to open up. Baby steps, like Yassen willingly seating himself in the chair across the small hotel room they were stuck in, _baby steps. _

Yassen-Language is hard to learn, because it's the broken cues and abandoned movements that suggested that he was _about _to do something, but abandoned it entirely. The greatest catch; the original signs of movement were completely willing- no hesitation in the turn of his body, no pause before he physically inserted himself in a conversation…..and then he said nothing and walked away. If Nile hadn't known better, he would have thought that Yassen was a _troll._

He had considered investigating further, maybe looking for various cognitive disorders or sensory integration issues that Yassen never mentioned. The man hardly smiled, never laughed, tended to live in a chronic dissociative state but remained a live wire for reactions and reflexes. You couldn't ever surprise Yassen Gregorovich, but you were always surprised _by him._

He was fiercely intelligent, so much that any game of chess would always result in a failure. In one mission report, Cossack managed to destroy an entire illegal gambling operation in a long game of poker. The man was terrifying, svelte and graceful like a large cat.

Similar to a large cat, specifically a cheetah, Yassen Gregorovich was the single most anxious individual Nile had met (and hadn't killed). The man was loose and relaxed only through forced training. If Yassen hadn't been trained to be an assassin, he could have been great at creating synthetic diamonds because he was such a goddamn tight-ass.

Nile spent _years _building Yassen's comfort with him, swearing abstinence of bodily affection. Internally he cried, but externally he also cried when Yassen very stiffly managed an entire conversation with him without weirdly walking away. Nile was attached to the man, and he was ridiculously proud with Yassen's jerky movements that only appeared when he _followed through on the body language._

All of this, of course, seemingly flew out the window as Yassen's anxiety let misguided repressed paternal instincts take the wheel around Alex Rider.

Alex Rider was funny, cute and small in the way teenagers are with their weirdly long limbs and no coordination. Nile met the kid back a dozen missions, and witnessed first hand a legendary Rider Situation and from there, he was sold. Not because the kid fit right in with the dark humour, occupational hazard, and affinity for messing shit up, but because in his body and his face he had the _Yassen-tic._

It wasn't so much the verbal cues that Yassen had, it wasn't the staring or the blank face. The way Rider ran made every cowbell in Nile's brain rattle out in warning. Rider ran from threats jerkily and scattered like his limbs refused to operate with his brain. He'd bolt one way, stumble to the side and narrowly avoid a fast moving pillar- keep running before backpedaling for _no reason, _then leap and take off like a deer who broke into a marijuana plantation. It was funny to watch, but also captivating because it should not work under any circumstances and yet, it did. He was the world's luckiest raccoon, stealing trash with his little weird finger-paws and escaping through laundry chutes.

Alex Rider laughed and joked like a mirror, but then he would stiffen and freeze and start those little aborted movements towards someone else. A gunman (who Nile thought had a stupid looking face) would shift uncomfortably from Alex Rider's intent focus, and Rider would make that little hop step forward before pulling back. A spooked little colt who had more Yassen-isms than Nile had ever seen.

It wouldn't be the first time Nile wondered about Rider and Yassen. The legacy and interaction was practically a dark secret, whispered quietly because Yassen tended to be sensitive about discussing it... and by sensitive Nile meant your face after Yassen broke your jaw.

Hunter had been...well, if he hadn't been a traitor (and _ouch,) _he likely would have had a big bronze statue made at Malagosto. Nile had been put through the ringer in his own training, he had heard about the man and grew his own healthy amount of hero worship when Hunter showed up one day to promptly school his class on proper firearm marksmanship. Nile had performed terribly and Hunter had shot his leg with a blank and the bruise took _months _to heal. Yassen had been the lucky graduate to be practically raised by Hunter, and Nile always wondered why. The Russian was young, the youngest to graduate or maybe that was Nile and honestly he didn't care enough to remember. Hunter had always been fond of Yassen. It took a lot of love to shoot through someone's throat and purposefully not kill them, and hit the target.

Nile's employer had also been obsessed with Hunter, a bit _too much _of the hero worship. Nile knew his way around the SCORPIA gossip rings, the poison toxicologists were the real loose lips, mostly because they tended to stay stuck in a chemistry lab and were so touch starved they likely would cuddle one of the vipers, but _still. _Nile liked them, and if you brought in the biohazard clean up crew it was just like a little girl's sleepover. They even painted each other nails with venom laced polish and Nile let them do his makeup _once. _

The idea that Yassen had become...something _more _to Hunter was always an unspoken concern. The fact now, that Alex Rider, Hunter's_son _was displaying the same physical and verbal tics as _Yassen, _who he had never _met... _well, it left a lot of questions. Especially of the illegitimate son kind. Nile _knew _that it wasn't, mostly because blood types and how Hunter tanned in the sun and Yassen instead needed to grouchily put on cream cheese level sunscreen, but it was a nice conspiracy theory that Nile was now rethinking. Mostly because Yassen had randomly kidnapped a child.

"So," Nile said casually, since Yassen had done another tick and said the half end of a sentence while clearly forgetting he hadn't verbally_said _the start of the sentence- "any reason why we're _cradle _robbing?"

A pause, then Rider gave a small hysterical snort. "Cradle? Because- because we're in the Cradle of Civilization? Mesopotamia?"

"See, I knew I liked you for a reason, Rider." Nile confirmed, "you understand my jokes. You understand my genius and I've been sorely lacking."

Yassen turned on the helicopter, readying for takeoff. Nile had no idea where they were going, but they had guns and plenty of fuel so likely it would be a nice joyride. They were off for a month anyways, supposed to be going through new weapon training on new illegal firearm models and machinery with the Taliban. That, and Nile was still sporting one hell of a concussion that was healing decently but still left him veering to the right side of his targets.

"Right," Rider said, swaying dazed and tired. A very eventful day for the fetal spy. "Where are we going?"

"North. Makhachkala." Yassen said.

"Bless you." Alex said without any hesitation.

"Hah," Nile said, "no really, why _there?"_

Yassen's relaxed body stiffened a tiny bit, a tense line near the back of his neck. He rolled one shoulder in a shrug. Nile wanted to gasp in delight.

"Is Maka-m...Makachalawala a real place?" Alex asked in a very tiny voice, absolutely butchering the poor city name.

"Yes." Yassen said, relaxing now that they had ascended so high they could make a decent time. "It is the capital city of the Republic of Dagestan. It touches the western shore of the Caspian Sea. There is strong political and military upset, which aids us with heightened security."

Alex shrunk a little lower in his seat, staring out the window quietly. The poor kid had no idea what he was in for.

They kept flying, the steady sound of the chopper blades quiet outside the heavy earmuffs. They had a month, and Yassen was taking them to _ Russia. _Nile wanted to laugh and wheeze over the man's choice of location, but Yassen had said so many sentences today and Nile didn't want to set his progress back.

They landed on the outskirts, in some sort of farming area where the poor owners looked scandalized with their arrival. Yassen walked out, speaking to the owners and coming to some sort of agreement. Alex watched with wide eyes, looking around the farm and the animals grazing in the distance.

"So...he took us to _Russia." _Alex said, finally saying what Nile had been gnawing on for hours.

"I _know," _Nile consoled. Alex's mouth twitched in the smallest arc of a smile, he looked down shyly at his hands.

"...Russians right?" Alex said, quiet and weak but his smile and confidence brightened a bit when Nile managed a bark of laughter.

Yassen returned and roped Nile into helping him cover the helicopter with a massive tarp and drag the thing into an empty straw silo. The harvesting season wasn't there yet, so it would be decent cover for a while yet. The poor owners very anxiously gave Yassen the keys to their car, in return Yassen handed over some sort of envelope that likely had more cash than they made in a year. The woman looked faint, and clutched one of her hens to her chest like a spoof of an old movie.

They piled into the car, helpfully tossing things out the window that they didn't need. Alex slid into the backseat this time, the only one that could prove difficult when they got through the security borders and patrols. Luckily, everyone in the entire car spoke Russian, either out of necessity or being petty.

The border security _did _prove a challenge, or rather the anxiety of the situation caught up to Alex. The boy jolted a good half dozen times in the back seat, gnawing on his lower lip viciously before he slumped and played pretend sleeping spontaneously. Yassen didn't look surprised, because Yassen could never be surprised. The border security barked out basic demands and questions. Where were they from? Where were they going? Where are their papers? Who is the boy in the back?

Yassen performed smooth and perfect and they rolled on through with Alex deflating from all his tense fake-sleep. The boy jolted up, peering around excitedly as Yassen very calmly parked the car outside a home purchasing agency, and went inside.

"Don't worry, this is standard." Nile assured Alex in English. It was unlikely that anyone here walking by would speak it. "Yassen likes to have an actual house for some reason. I'm more of an apartment person, but you know how it is."

Alex clearly did not know how it was, because Yassen returned quick and casual and slid into the car, pulling out onto the road, then the motorway with far too much ease. Alex at least displayed his anxiety openly.

"...you didn't _really _just buy a house, did you?" Alex asked quietly.

"No." said Yassen, "I removed a furnished house from their system. Bank owned. They will not notice its absence from the market until we have vanished."

They drove for quite a while, clearly the house Yassen selected was decided based on its location. Far enough away from the city that the security patrols and occasional riots wouldn't bother them. Not so far that they couldn't get back to their helicopter and flee- although Nile had a feeling that Yassen would just rob the nearest airport of a jet when the time came. The man had unquestionable ability to steal things like jets.

The house was nice, a few bedrooms and a cozy fireplace. Nile was skeptic of decorative pillows and hated how tiny the coffee table was, but Yassen settled in easy by hauling out the duffel bag filled with guns they brought from the Taliban, and set about securing the house. It was unlikely that anyone would have spies in this back corner of Russia, but Yassen was fond of setting up tripwires on the windows and cameras in the corner. Figures he'd be a helicopter parent.

Rider settled into the one bedroom, staring blankly at the furnishings before he awkwardly sighed and flopped on the bed. Nile couldn't blame him, he also didn't have anything else to change into and smelled like dust. Yassen wasn't normally the impulsive one, but really this was not coordinated at all.

"I'm going to take a bath," Alex announced loudly, "because I smell like feet."

So, Nile picked his bed and crashed. It wasn't the nicest bed, but it was better than sleeping in a bartered car that Yassen would likely destroy soon and find another one. Hopefully the bastard got groceries too.

The Yassen-ticks all but disappeared, but Nile prepared himself for a whole new monster because never had he expected the _shy awkward Yassen._

It was cute, but also very horrifying. Alex couldn't help but compare the slow very cautious movements and actions to that of a large lion trying to be gentle with its zookeeper. Yassen moved gracefully, but also paused and skittered on occasion. Bouncing on the balls of his feet indecisively, and not used to making such quick unprompted movements. He didn't know what to _do, _but clearly had a goal in mind. Yassen had an objective, and was second guessing how to get there for some unknown reason.

Except Alex _did _know, because Yassen somehow could _reset. _He didn't understand it, but he knew instantly that every occasion with the untimed, random hour resets….it had been _Yassen. _At night, he tended to reset from five in the morning to one, which meant that Yassen was getting a huge amount of sleep in only a fraction of the time. Yassen reset a few times during the day as well, on one occasion multiple times the same day. Had it been a mission going wrong? Had it been a situation where he didn't know what to do? Had _Alex _been the one to reset the day that Cray...or had it been _Yassen?_

If Yassen was resetting, that made a whole new perspective on the things he had done and seen. Alex had no illusions over the fact that Yassen had spared his life multiple times, but had he? Had Yassen ever _ killed Alex, _and then decided he couldn't bare it and rewound just to save him? It would explain Sayle, the man that Yassen shot and left dead on a building. It would explain Cray, who Yassen shot in retribution after Cray had tried (and almost succeeded) in _killing him._

Alex wanted to be angry, because so far Yassen's actions supported the idea that he had killed Alex before. Alex should be mad, because Yassen had _killed him, _but did it really matter if he didn't remember? Did it really count if it never happened? Alex could argue that the intentions behind the action did matter, but he too had felt the weird strange calm of knowing that everything you want is at your fingertips, and nothing existed to stop you. Alex had punched people, then not. He had stolen, and then not. Was he still guilty of a crime he never did? Was he still accountable for an action that never happened? If Alex were to blame and treat Yassen accordingly for _killing him, _then Alex was to be held responsible for….

"I killed Cray." Alex said out loud, and he hated the way Nile instantly perked his head up and looked over curiously.

"I killed Cray, and I've killed other people." Alex said. Staring forward blankly as horror washed through his bones and left him feeling empty. "I've killed a lot of people."

Nile stared at him, then slowly stood up and approached. He settled next to Alex, a warm heat radiating from his skin. Nile didn't reach out, but his presence was grounding.

"Well, I can't say it bothers me anymore," Nile started with a chipper tone, although Alex could tell he was serious. "But some people...it takes a while. Some people it cares a bit at them, and tears out little bits of them until it wrecks them. In our profession, we don't kill without _reason. _If we do, we're just psychotic or we're a serial killer. Don't get me wrong, some of our clients are deranged lunatics but _we aren't."_

Alex nodded slowly, feeling very overwhelmed with everything evolving so rapidly and out of control. "I killed people but I didn't mean to."

"You did what you had to do," Nile tried to console, "It doesn't get easier, but you can always try to fix that. If it wastes you away, then stop."

"You don't understand, I- I _can't-."_

"Oh right," Nile said flippantly, "because MI6 blackmailed you into this and you don't get paid? Because your grades are suffering and you're traumatized so much you can't sleep anymore because you're being bossed around by a lot of pricks who won't leave you alone?"

Alex quieted, and Nile very slowly reached out to squeeze his knee gently. "You're doing great, kid. You've been dealt a super shit hand, but that doesn't mean you can't come out okay."

"You're really nice to me." Alex said.

"Well yeah," Nile said, "my closest friend is goddamn _Yassen Gregorovich. _He's the most anxious armadillo I know. Move to fast and _ shhwoop! _There's that sweet repression!"

Alex smiled, looking a bit better, a bit happier with it all. "Thanks Nile."

"No problem kid."

Alex looked at him, _really _looked at him, then looked down at his knees. Shy, or deciding something Nile never thought he'd understand. Alex nodded, stood up, and walked off to the kitchen where the sink was working and had safe water. Nile smiled, because Alex really was a little Gregorovich.

Yassen came back with groceries, each from an assortment of different stores and in a brand new car. Nobody mentioned it, and Alex quickly melted into ravenously eating an entire loaf of bread. He reached out to something that looked like a bread pudding, then shuddered.

Yassen stumbled as well, clipping one hip into the nearest cabinet. He swung his head around, scowling slightly at a wide eye Alex holding his bread pudding guiltily.

"Alex, _not _when eating."

Alex ducked his head, flushing clearly. Nile didn't understand, but he didn't need to. Yassen had brought all sorts of food, and he was fine with Yassen randomly scolding the child if it meant he got food.

After dinner, Alex had curled up on a couch reading a book that Yassen had also brought. The boy was stumbling through Cyrillic, apparently much better with the spoken word. Nile wished he had the time to read, instead of filling out online forms for extended leave and vacation. He had a feeling that Yassen wasn't going to let go so quickly.

Nile knew Yassen was there before he saw him. His sixth sense buzzing as Yassen _very slowly _crept into the room. Not like his actual sneaking stealth way, but like his shy 'I want to be included but don't know how' way. Normally, he'd make it just past the doorway, pause, and then walk away normally. This time, he _didn't._

Nile didn't breathe as Yassen entered the room, eyes flickering around like a buzzing fly as he slowly padded to the couch nearest both he and Alex. Alex was still reading, woefully ignorant. Nile was pointedly staring at his phone, trying to not vibrate too much in his excitement. Yassen rounded the couch, pausing by the armrest, before he continued slowly around. He managed to find his seat, the one in the middle, and carefully sat down, pausing before pulling his legs up and tucking them around his side so he slouched backwards comfortably. He had nothing in his hands, instead he stared forward at a boring painting the house agency hung on the wall, and..._ sat there._

This was a big step for Yassen. A _very big step. _Nile resumed breathing, slightly shaky with excitement. The cat had entered the room, and _chosen to remain. _

"Yassen," Alex said, looking up from the book with a small frown. "Your taste in books sucks."

_No, no! Don't scare him away! _

"Perhaps you do not admire classic literature." Yassen said smoothly. Alex rolled his eyes, curling up a bit tighter as he turned the page of his book.

"So like, what do you guys _actually _do?" Alex asked, "I don't think I can look on the internet for a job summary."

"I normally show up, look cute, and boss people around." Nile said. "I'm like...I bad group partner."

"Ah, yeah I know your type." Alex said. "Yassen...shows up and...kills employers?"

_"Hah!" _Nile laughed- but then Alex giggled quietly and Yassen stiffened like a very alarmed wide eye cat.

"Not in the living room, _Yassen!" _Alex said, voice mocking and scolding just from before. He then flipped a good twenty pages forward in his book, and continued to read. From that moment on, Yassen never jolted weirdly in the doorway, which was both hilarious and very odd to begin with.

Yassen's anxiety and awkwardness only became more evident when in discussions, namely with Alex. When talking to Nile, he didn't really talk that much. Which was completely fine considering that Nile talked enough for an entire unit and the helicopter pilot included. Alex though...Alex was _chatty, _and generally talked out loud to everyone and everything. He liked asking questions, fitting in dry sarcasm, and his dark humour was enough to make Princess Diana roll in her grave.

"So, why do you always leap so far?" Alex asked, looking over at Yassen who was working on more paperwork, or something that Nile didn't care about. Maybe the man had finally taken up emotional poetry writing like the SCORPIA therapists all begged him to do.

"It's easier." Yassen said flatly. Not looking up. Nile said nothing but...yes? If you're going to _leap, _you may as well jump far. It was practically in the name itself. Although Yassen _did _have long legs, so maybe Alex thought he would...no that didn't make sense either.

"No it isn't." Alex argued. "_ Further _is _harder. _Short stuff is easy."

Yassen paused, and looked up at Alex with obvious curiosity. He instantly flickered his eyes away, staring just over Alex's ear as once more, that pesky social awkwardness appeared.

"Leaping further is easier."

"Uh, no. Not at all."

"Further distances require more effort-."

"You leap every _night! _Do you have any idea how _insane _that is?"

"Little Alex, you leap a half dozen times in an _hour. That, _throws off aim and calculations. It's disorienting."

Nile wondered, if he should possibly add jumping into his exercise routines. Or jumping jacks. Why was Yassen hopping while _shooting a gun?_

"Maybe _you, _are just bad at it." Alex challenged. Yassen pulled his head back, looking like a dog that had sniffed something strong and foul.

"I am not. _You _are still a beginner…"

"You just said you can't hop so many times in an hour!"

"You fail to leap further than a handful of hours-."

_'Jumping is measured by time?' _Nile wondered, before ignoring it because the two were strange and should be best left alone. Maybe they were both...very passionate about jumping. Maybe Rider was on his school's high-jump team. Competitive sack-races?

"Well, I can't push it _far-."_

"I have been successful with thirteen hours."

Alex gasped, inhaling in surprise and awe. His eyes rounded like coins, and his jaw dropped ever so slightly before he noticed and fixed it. He shifted a little in his seat, suddenly exhibiting every symptom of 'Yassen is _so cool _' disorder like Nile saw in the new recruits. Poor kid.

"I can…" Alex floundered, looking around before he closed his book and held it up above his head. He was still sitting, so it wasn't that high, but his eyebrows furrowed in concentration. He inhaled slowly, and exhaled in a smooth controlled motion. He dropped the book.

Nile watched the book, expecting some sort of great feat. The book thumped to the ground, and Alex keeled over, heaving for breath and panting loudly. Nile thought, that he was an idiot.

"Impressive." Yassen admitted, looking equally mystified and a little shy as Alex beamed toothily. "Five hops."

_'Correct that,' _Nile thought, _'They're both idiots.'_

"Have you applied this to fighting?" Yassen asked, tilting his head to_make actual eye contact, _before he fluttered and looked away quickly. Baby steps, gosh Nile was so proud of him.

"Uh, not more than the...wait until everything explodes, then hop down and disarm it?"

Nile wanted to ask how the hell Rider hadn't died yet, but the first time they met things _had _done the same, so really he already knew. Weaponized beginners luck. No wonder Hunter was a beast if his son was _this._

"I'll show you tomorrow," Yassen said, looking pleased, "not now. You need natural time to let your mind absorb your readings."

"What do you want for food?" Nile offered, stretching out so his feet managed to flex right under Alex's scrunched up nose, "I can make some pasta."

"Pasta is fine!" Alex said happily.

Nile thought that life was good, that things were fine. They were most certainly _not fine, _because when they finished dinner and went off to bed, he woke up tired and cranky for his shift to learn, that Alex Rider, slept in.

Slept-in was a rare occurrence, the instances where you sleep so much you stay groggy and loose and happily relaxed. That normally was ten, maybe twelve hours. Not four like a certain Yassen Gregorovich monster.

"No," Nile said in horror, "fuck you, _fuck you-."_

_"Huh?" _Alex gurgled, slept in and choking on cereal at _four in the morning._

"There's two of you," Nile said, "oh god there's _two of them."_

"Ignore Nile. He requires more than four hours of sleep." Yassen advised, already dressed and fully functioning near the coffee pot.

"Oh, right," Alex blinked, looking as if he had _legitimately forgot, _"he needs a lot of sleep right?"

"More than _four _you _vampires."_

Alex laughed, his eyes crinkling up and the haze of tired extinguishing from the edges. Even Yassen looked happy, in a carefully hidden way. He was glowing, somewhere along the way of stealing a boy, a light had come back to Yassen. He seemed...so full of energy again.

"We're going to go outside!" Alex let Nile know, sliding over the coffee helpfully, "don't worry if you hear anything, no seriously, don't worry."

"Alex." Yassen said fondly, "he is accustomed to it. No damage will result in our spar."

"Yassen no,"' Nile blurted, "you're going to kill that kid."

"_ Yeah _he will." Alex agreed contently. "He already smashed my face in, but you knocked my tooth out."

"What? _When!"_

"In my dreams." Alex shrugged it off, "come _on! _Lets go beat each other up already! Or are you still tired, _Yashka!"_

Yassen's smile was a sharp baring his teeth. He didn't seem alarmed in the slightest, in fact he seemed more indulgent when Alex snatched two steak knives from the cupboard.

"Not a _scratch _on him," Nile warned Yassen. Nile already had white skin, he didn't want to have white hair now too. "I mean it, we can't go to the hospital or anything-."

"Alex Rider will be fine." Yassen said.

Alex was excited, and not prepared in the slightest for fighting an actual assassin. He wasn't trained in it. He had a few martial arts belts and experience wrestling, but that was nothing when facing an older amused man who had already blinded you from smashing your cheekbone into your eye.

"That reminds me," Alex said, "Why did you shoot Sayle?"

Yassen stilled at the question, pausing with his loose battle ready stance. He looked down, then up, then at the trees, then back to Alex's ear. Alex remembered Nile saying that Yassen was a very anxious person- even this whole experience was twisting Alex's nerves and making him feel very flighty. There was a sense of comfort that came with the knowledge that if anything bad happened, he could reset it. A security blanket, that had been torn free from him but had also left _Yassen. _They were both exposed, cursed with the knowledge that they wouldn't forget what they said or did even when everyone else did.

"He…" Yassen trailed off, voice shifting in tone. His face twitched slightly, fingers clenched into a fist. Yassen inhaled, then forced his body to relax again- Alex knew the signs, he would have already reset as well.

"He was...not...what I wished to see." Yassen said, voice unsteady, "In the world. His actions had...consequences I did not find appropriate."

Alex fiddled with his sleeve, frowning down at the grass. "So you let your employers do what they were going to, and then if it's bad you fix it?"

"That would be an adequate description." Yassen agreed.

So Alex went for it. "Did you kill me? With Sayle?"

Yassen stilled, and then side stepped and jerked his head. His hands flexed, his nostrils flared. There was no running away, not anymore when they would remember forever what they had never said. Yassen looked at Alex, paling slightly and flinching back before he kept his eyes affixed to the trees.

"...I…" He trailed off, licking his lips nervously. "I...accidentally. Yes."

"Accidentally." Alex echoed. Alex's hands were trembling slightly, so he curled them into fists and tucked them into his pockets.

"I...I was instructed to shoot you, but I...I aimed for non-vital." Yassen said quickly, rushing the words in a quiet exhale. "Sayle was ...not in agreeance. He shot you, and I killed him. The wounds were severe, and you…"

"I died?" Alex asked, because the concept of death and something concrete finished did not feel possible. It felt beyond his reach, something he could never have now.

"No. Sayle had...modified health records and documentation, more than believed. I had..._ thought, _that you were compatible in blood but you..you were not…you had systemic shock and..." Yassen trailed off, his voice nearly cracking at the end. Yassen looked haunted, eyes flickering about as he shifted agitatedly.

Alex never spent much time in class, but he did pay attention sometimes. The unit on Punnet Squares, the pop quizzes that he and Tom took. They had a unit on blood typing, how different people were compatible or different or which types were dominant and recessive. You could accept the same blood type or a few others, and Alex learned that he could accept only a select few. Someone asked what would happen, and the explanation soared over his and Tom's head except key phrases like _'body-wide red blood cells exploding' _and _'apoptosis' _and _'in_ _severe cases- death.'_

He didn't pay too much attention because blood still bothered him and he tried to hide it. Tom asked him if he was alright, because he never knew that Alex was _afraid of blood. _It was suspicious, how he bolted out of class when instructed to prick their fingers because blood spilled over hands and pale skin and _the smell was so strong..._

Alex still remembered the nights when he woke up screaming, a sobbing mess because inside his eyes and inside his body he still felt Yassen's head thump to his shoulder and the grotesque splatter of Cray on a plane. He still smelled the burnt rubber and the destruction and chaos and the way Yassen's sticky hot blood soaked into his pores. He still had nightmares, flashes where a red tomato on the kitchen counter and powerpoint slides in biology left him flinching.

He had never _ever_ considered that Yassen had his own demon.

"I tried to save your life," Yassen said quietly, "and my efforts condemned you to die in my arms. No matter how hard I tried to save you."

"Why?" Alex asked, voice barely more than a whisper.

Yassen's shoulders hunkered inwards. "Hunter died...alone. So I swore that I would never let his child share the same fate."

Alex didn't know he was crying until he sniffled and brushed his face, staring down at the ground because they couldn't dare meet each others eyes.

"You…" Alex said. "You died too. When Cray...you told me to come over and…"

Yassen made a small noise of comprehension. He looked embarrassed, uncomfortable as he nodded slowly. "Yes. The...the reset occurs moments before...it is instinctual. Uncontrollable."

"Why did you have me come over?" Alex said, clenching his jaw, "why would you _tell me that!"_

Yassen stared at him, and looked away. "I didn't know if I _would _die." Yassen said. "I didn't...want to die alone."

Alex could feel his body shaking. The broken hitching of his breathing, the way he trembled like a leaf and even Yassen looked pale and sickly with guilt. Alex almost vomited on the ground, he almost turned and ran because he wanted to run so far.

"How." Alex demanded, knowing that his voice was wet and blubbery, "how did this happen. How the _bloody hell _did this shit _happen!"_

Yassen shrunk in on himself again, staring at the ground. "I...I don't-."

"You _owe me an explanation!"_

"...I died."' Yassen said quietly. "Or I...I _tried… _"

Alex felt his mind scream at him to stop, but he didn't. He took one step, then two, then another until he was shakily running and slamming into the taller man and sobbing into his shirt. They were both such horrible beautiful messes.

"How did this happen to us?" Alex asked, demanded and crying through it. "It hurts so much, how did this _happen?"_

Yassen curled downwards, his chin on Alex's hair and wrapping around him in something too disfigured to ever be an embrace. "I was...lost, without Hunter. I...I was foolish, and much like you. I went and challenged fate, or _luck, _or some incarnation beyond us. I like to imagine that a bit of Rider Luck remained, and my own hatred and anger turned it into a curse."

"A bit of _luck?" _

"Yes," Yassen said quietly. His chest heaved, although his voice was steady. Alex wondered if he had ever told someone else these words, but they were both lost and drifting and needed each other to confirm that they were _real. _"I...I imagine Hunter would be quite mad with me. Perhaps his last action was to sway my hand. Are you familiar with Russian Roulette?"

"You died?"

"No, little Alex." Yassen laughed sadly, "Rider Luck, after all. It seems it's never quite...lost its charm."

They cried, because they both needed it and it was so easy to find yourself lost and adrift and drowning in time. Her waters were cold and lonely, and only so much laughter and kindness could drag you from solipsism.

The first time that Alex settled himself, inhaling and letting out gently, he met Yassen's eyes and verbally said for the first time, "_ Reset."_

* * *

Yassen was arched over him, chin pressed into his hair. Alex's sobbing faltered and faded off almost instantly. Yassen's face hurt and his body slowed from its previous trembling.

"You sneaky child." Yassen murmured. "All that, to get here."

Alex wriggled his head, peering up with wet eyes and a dazzling bright smile. "It worked, didn't it. Weren't you the one that said something like..._ Maybe next time?'_


End file.
